The Elucidation Of A Brilliant Mind
by QueenBeeMaja
Summary: When Sheldon returns after a long summer away, he is indeed a changed man. Shamy :-)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **I hope that the writers use Sheldon's absence wisely and don't let him return completely unchanged. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but he needs to grow up a little, appreciate the good things in his life, namely Amy, and get over his ego, at least sometimes, again, namely for Amy... He also seriously needs to get laid... So here is my "vision" of Sheldon's return and he is indeed a changed man... Which also means that "my" Sheldon will be OOC but I try not to overdo it... Well, except for the "M"-rated parts... since that's not going to happen anytime soon unless they move the show to Showtime or HBO...

The whole story will be from Sheldon's POV

I hope you'll enjoy it. Reviews and constructive criticism are welcomed. Please bear in mind that English is not my native language. Also, I'm pretty new to all this writing and am currently just experimenting with different ways to tell a story. Thank you!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, but Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady etc. own everything... And I sure hope they'll take good care of it when they return for season 8. That drama all better be worth it!

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

Only a few more hours and I'll be back in Pasadena and I have to confess, I'm a little nervous. How will it be after I was away for the whole summer? No, how will_ I _be is probably the more accurate question.

Of course they all assumed that I would go straight to my mother or Meemaw after I left. And to be honest, that was my first instinct. But halfway to Texas I realized that this is what I've been doing my whole life. When things got bad, I needed my mother to care for me and make me feel better. But suddenly that bugged me... a lot... Running to Mommy like a baby... No, I didn't want to be like _that_ anymore. And then the _most_ radical idea kept invading my mind: _If everything and everyone around me is changing, why shouldn't I as well? _So I thought, why not 'seize the moment'? And this is how I spent the last months traveling around the country, without a plan, without a routine, without any self inflicted limitations... And it was simply _liberating_!

I went away because I found my carefully scheduled life in shambles and I couldn't handle it... naturally. And after spending the first weeks feeling as devasted as I have never felt before in my entire life, I realized that it was really my own fault. If I wouldn't have planned every second of my life, it wouldn't have been so easy to disrupt it in the first place. So I abandoned my routine and found out that I am perfectly able to live without it. Except for a few not negotiable things... But that's _not_ the point. The _point_ is, that I've _embraced_ the chaos... _willingly_!

Furthermore, I realized that I made myself completely dependent on others. To drive me around, to get my dinner, to just _be_ how and where I need them... But one should really only depend on oneself. So not only have I proven to myself, that I can live without a meticulous schedule but also without being dependent on others. _I don't need anybody to take care of me. _

So now I return a changed man and I'll just "go with the flow", as they say.

Leonard will pick me up from the train station. He said that everyone is excited to see me again and that they missed me. So all of them will be at our apartment tonight. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's not that I don't want to see them. No, I actually look forward to it. It's just that I feel so different now... I don't know if I still fit in. But then again, I _never_ really did in the first place...

Finally back in Pasadena... and there's Leonard... alone.

"Hey Buddy! I'm glad you're back. I really missed you."

"Hi Leonard. It's good to see you too."

"Should I help you with your luggage?"

"No, that's ok. But thank you for the offer."

Oh Lord, how am I survive this evening when these few words already exhausted me?

"We can't wait to hear all about your journey."

"We spoke reguarly over the phone. I told you most of it already."

"But that surely wasn't all you've experienced, was it? Besides, we only spoke every other week. And your texts and emails were surprisingly short."

"Maybe."

"You alright, Sheldon?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

Leonards mimic shows that he's worried. I should probably say something reassuring.

"So, everyone will be at our place tonight?"

"Yeah. It's Thai Night."

"Oh, right. I forgot."

"You WHAT?!"

"Well, not _literally_ naturally. I just haven't thought about it. That's all."

Funny how Leonard still lives by my old routine... I _knew_ his constant complaints were meaningless...

We're driving home now and Leonard talks and talks but I don't listen... When I look at the place that I call home after being away for so long, the strange thing is, that it looks exactly the same. The streets, the houses, the shops... Like time stood still here and only I was moving forward...

"You're awfully quiet. Is really everything ok?"

"Yes. I'm just looking. Nothing seem to have changed."

"No. But you were also only away for three months."

"It felt longer... for me at least."

"Are you happy to be back?"

Hmmm... that's a good question...

"I am not unhappy."

"If you prefer to be alone tonight, I can call the others and we just spend the evening just the two of us."

Would I prefer that?

"No. It's alright."

"Ok."

Almost there... 2311 Los Robles... Home sweet home...

"Leonard. Will Amy be there tonight?"

"Ehm... No."

"Why? Didn't you call her?"

"Of course I did... She said she's busy with work. They're almost finished with the project."

"Oh... that certainly is _much_ more important."

"If you don't mind my asking. How are things between the two of you?"

Another good question... How are things between Amy and I?

"I mind."

"Oh, ok... Here we are. Back home."

Aahhhh... I missed my room! My bed... one wouldn't _believe_ in what inadequate lodgings I had to rest... There are my clothes... OH, the smell... _perfect!_... I should just throw everything I bought on my trip away ... My comic books... _Whoops_... Ok, so I _am _still attached to my belongings... But that really _doesn't_ mean, that I'm not a changed man!

"Hey Sheldon! Raj is here!"

"Just a minute!"

Sitting here on my bed feels comfortable and strange at the same time... Will everything be like this now?... How will it be when we see each other again? I know, she isn't coming because of work. She told me last week that she already finished her project. She's not coming because she doesn't want to see me. I can't blame her. I messed up.

"Sheldon!"

"YES, I'm coming!"

And here they all are... minus Amy... And now they're... _hugging_ me?!... Oh boy... I still don't like that...

"Ok, ok... Now _please_, can we start to eat? I'm starving."

They're throwing questions at me. Nonstop... I want to go to my room...

"How was your journey?"

"Did you see the -?"

"Where did you do laundry night at Saturdays?"

"Did you find a comic book store in every place?"

It goes on and on... none of these questions matter...

"Did you talk to Amy?"

_Who asked that? _Oh, sure. Penny...

"I did."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Well, she was pretty upset when you left and then she was pissed. How are things now between you?"

I can see Leonard gesticulating to Penny to shut up... But we all know she doesn't care and won't stop questioning me...

"I am surprised you have to ask me. Doesn't she tell you _everything_?"

"She _used_ to, yes. But every time I asked her, she said she doesn't want to talk about it... She's also not around that much anymore..."

Everyone is silent now, waiting for my reaction... I guess. But they don't know, that Penny isn't telling me anything new. Amy told me that she's trying to dissociate herself from us... more precisely from _me_. Again, I can't blame her. I _really_ messed up.

"So?"

Penny's still waiting for an answer... She won't let it go. But I don't want to speak about it either.

"I'm tired. It was a very long day. So please excuse me now, I'm going to bed."

I hear them saying something but I don't listen... Thank God, I'm in my room again... My sanctuary.

I can't sleep. But I'm not surprised. I want to speak to her. No, that's not true. I want to _see_ her. I should have gone straight to her when I arrived, regardless of what she said earlier today when I asked if we could meet. She said no, she's not ready to see me. She doesn't know when she will be. I hate that. But somehow I still hoped that she might have changed her mind about coming here this evening... The moth and the light and all... But apparently I'm not that irresistible anymore... I hate that as well...

We spent hours on the phone during my absence. At first I was mostly explaining why I left and behaved the way I did and she was crying a lot. It was horrible and exhausting. I hated every minute of it. And I hated that it made me feel guilty. That is not an emotion I am used to.

After the crying came the screaming. She screamed a lot at me. Really, A LOT. She doesn't have an eidetic memory but she sure remembers _every single time_ that I hurt her. I was shocked that there were so many. I felt even more guilty and started to apologize for every hurtful thing I ever did to her, over and over again...

She wanted to terminate our relationship. I felt panicked when I realized she's serious about this. But at the same time I couldn't blame her. I treated her badly. I yelled at her and then I just left, without even saying goodbye. And all the times before, when I kept her at distance so that I wouldn't have to deal with my feelings. I was a selfish bastard and the worst boyfriend ever. So I apologized more... Really, A LOT more... and even _begged_ her not to break up. I would change I kept promising her. And somehow she didn't leave me.

After a while the calls got better. We started to really converse about all things that were on our minds. Like we used to, before I asked her to be my girlfriend. _Before_ everything became complicated. She asked, if we just should go back to that. Returning to our girl/friend/boy/friend status. Having only a relationship of the mind. Not that long ago, I would probably have agreed to that. But when she suggested it, I immediately declined. No, I want her to be my girlfriend. _Just mine. _The thought of anybody else being close to her... kissing her... touching- NO! I don't even want to _think_ about that... Anyway. We understood each other better over time and she said, she understands why I left. So the current status is, that we're still a couple, but she doesn't want to see me. She said, even though we did indeed grew closer and more honest which each other over the summer, she doesn't trust me. She's afraid that it was just because I was at a safe distance and that things would go back to the way they were before. Me being uncomfortable with basically everything and her wanting more affection and not getting any. _Her_ words by the way. She told me straightforward that she is actively trying to detach herself from me. I _know_ what she really meant, even though she didn't say it: She doesn't want to _love_ me anymore. That's why she doesn't want to see me.

Of course, I won't accept that. Everything that lady who calls herself a "Psychic" (fraud!) said, was true... Penny knew that... EVERYBODY knew that... _Even me_. But could I have just admitted that? Sadly no. But _now _I do. I never have been more sure about my relationship with Amy and now I am on a mission. I'll be the perfect boyfriend she deserves. And she will love me. We both win.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: **Thank you very much for reading and especially for the nice reviews. I have to admit I was a little anxious when I decided to post my story. So thanks a lot! It's incredibly motivating ;-)

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

It's strange to wake up here and not in a hotel. I really got used to that. It offers numerous comforts that are pretty easy to miss, like 24h concierge and room service. They clean the room daily and even do the laundry. Well, not all of the places that I've stayed in were that comfortable but after a few bad surprises I was very careful when I made the reservations. Unfortunately the quality of the services was not always satisfying. I don't know what standards other people have, but apparently none, considering how often I've heard that _"never before" _had someone complained. But with time I learned my lessons and the last month was remarkably relaxing in particular.

Although it's quite the expensive lifestyle, especially when one has to pay extra for being allowed to go to the kitchen and watch them preparing ones food... Or to the laundry room for making sure that they use the correct washing powders... Or to bribe the cleaning ladies for taking special care of the room... Or the concierge for not kicking one out, because the cleaning lady who doesn't speak English misunderstood what one expected her to do for the money...

Anyway, it's nice being back home though and not once did I sleep in a bed as comfy as mine... Oh my wonderful shower... something else I missed... Ah, my clothes... Perfect... And what should I have for breakfast today?

"Good morning Leonard."

"Good morning Sheldon. How did you sleep?"

"Alright. Thank you."

"Hey...listen. I'm sorry about yesterday. Penny shouldn't have asked you all these questions about Amy."

"It's ok. I know she's nosy."

"She just cares about the two of you."

"Ok."

"So, what are your plans for today?"

"Nothing in particular. Just getting used to being back."

"Well, ok then. Have fun. I'm out for work. See you later."

"Ok."

Finally alone. I should ask Leonard when he will move out. I find the prospect of living solitary quite agreeable lately. I'm aware that it really looked different a few months ago when I got so upset about his news, but I really enjoyed the many quiet hours on my trip.

Sooo, what should I do today?... What I _certainly_ shouldn't do is going to see Amy. She will not be pleased when I disregard her request of keeping my distance... Funny, how the situation is now completely reversed. No, that's really not funny at all. Tragically ironic... But if I do give her space, she may have enough time to "unlove" me... Which I cannot allow to happen. I should just call her, maybe later at lunch time?

* * *

I should have called her. Why didn't I? The door to her lab is right there... I shouldn't be here. To surprise her at work is _not_ a good idea. I should leave _right now!... _Oh no, too late. The door opens... Maybe I'm lucky and it's someone else...

"Sheldon?"

"Hi."

"What are you doing here? I told you that I'm not ready..."

She's saying something more... I should listen, but she's looking so... What's the word?... Lovely. That she really is... Oh, careful. Now is _not_ the moment for smiling. I did wrong...

"I am sorry. I know I shouldn't be here."

"Then why are you?"

"I just couldn't wait to see you."

"So you're ignoring _my_ wishes to get what _you_ want?"

"Yes."

"Like always. Didn't you assure me _repeatedly_ that you've changed?"

"I did."

"And yet you're here being disrespectful to _me_ and the things _I_ want. Where's the change in _that_?"

"That I am really sorry about it."

No, that didn't work. I can see it in her face. Drat.

"Sheldon, please go."

"Not before you agree to see me later."

_"Don't do this now."_

"Please Amy. Just for an hour... half an hour."

She's considering it... I think...

"I know you're still angry and that you don't trust me. But _please_, give me some time to show you... To _prove_ that I meant everything I said."

"I don't know..."

She doesn't sound convinced...

_"Please, Amy."_

Puppy face... That's always working... Or so Howard says...

"Ookayy... But just for half an hour."

"Good."

_DON'T SMILE!_ She ain't happy yet.

"Thank you. Amy. I promise I won't disappoint you."

"We'll see... Meet me at 7 at my place."

"I will. I'll let you go back to work. I apologize again for disturbing you."

"Ok, see you later."

That didn't go so bad, did it? She didn't yell at me... or hit me... That's good for a start, isn't it? She even agreed to meet later... She didn't look happy about it though. That's a little unsettling... Now I have six hours to come up with a plan how to convince her to forgive me and to forget all about her "detachment project".

But first I need to find a place to eat. Should I go to see the others for lunch at work? No, I am not ready to go there. I'll still have some days off. Besides, I don't want to see the likes of Kripke, rubbing me my failure under the nose. _That_ can certainly wait. But I'm really hungry. I'll just find a new place. After I spent the summer traveling around the whole country trying out new things I should explore my home now. Yes, that's a good idea...

* * *

And now? Two more hours till 7. Walking to her place will take at least one and a half... Look at all the people walking on the streets of Pasadena... Ignorance is _indeed_ bliss...

Amy looked different somehow. I can't really put my finger on it... _Something_ was missing... I know. It's the way she looked at me. Nothing shiny and affectionate... Before, even when she was mad at me there was always something... warm and friendly. Today she looked just sad.

How _blind_ I was all these years is astounding. There she was _right_ in front of me. All happy and excited to be with me. And did I appreciate it? Did I appreciate her? No. Instead I kept her at arms lengths, _constantly_. Why did I do that? I know I wasn't ready for the physical stuff, I'm still not really. But she understood, she never tried to force me into anything I didn't want to. So what then?

Who am I kidding? I know. I was scared like _shit_ (oh yeah, I am using four-letter words now. At least in my head. They really describe certain circumstances perfectly)... Where was I? Oh yes, the _emotions_... I hated them. At first I didn't know what they were. Having never felt them before. But when we "broke up" over the stupidest thing ever and I needed 25 cats to fill the void she left behind, it started to dawn on me. _They were all related to her. _The excitement before we met. The warm fuzzy feeling in my belly when she smiled at me or complimented my brilliance. What if she'd leave again? Oh. _the emptiness_... I needed to protect myself. Not to mention that I was nowhere near being close to admit, that I might not be exclusively a man of science. The idea to act on these feelings never crossed my mind. So I did what I've always done my entire life: Locking everything I didn't want to deal with away deep deep down inside of me. Preferably never to be found again.

But that wasn't always easy. I have to admit, that I was indeed jealous when she showed interest in that idiot that Penny used to date. Zach... I hate him... still... It bugged me that she found him attractive enough to actually consider intercourse. _Obviously_ she did not find _me_ attractive at that time. She hold my hand that one evening for "testing" and it did _nothing_ for her. I still feel rejected by that. Better not to think about it... But what's the _most_ disturbing about this is, how tenacious I was to prove that I am not remotely emotionally attached to Amy. I found the stupid guy and set up a date for them. _How twisted is that?! _What if she would've gone through with it?... Oh nooo, better not to think about _that_ now... Or _ever_ again...

However, after that our relationship became better and stronger. She understood me like no one else ever did. _We had so much fun._ And I deluded myself into believing that this is how it's going to be forever. A perfect relationship of the mind... But then she kissed me... Why did she have to do that?! All my attempts to suppress any other feelings than friendly appreciation went to _nowhere_ in only a second... And suddenly she showed more signs of affection. Requests for cuddling and drunken coitus in some dirty motel... _Dear Lord. How was I supposed to deal with that?_... And then she went on a date with Stuart... (Hate him too)... That was simply unacceptable. I couldn't let her _date_ other men. I'm not good in sharing what's mine... Not that I "own" her... really... _Anyway_. From then on, with the safety of our Relationship Agreement, I should have been happy and grateful for what we had. I should have just accepted my emotions. I mean, seriously, _what_ was my problem? _That I had feelings for my girlfriend?! _That's just ridiculous... At least in retrospect. But then I was still determined to bottle them all up and the more she wanted to be close to me the more I pushed her away. I am an idiot. That's the sad truth. _My knowledge of all things in the freaking universe mean really NOTHING._

Here I am. 17 minutes early.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: **Thank you very much for reading. I also wanted to let you know that I'm aware that I promised m-rated stuff and I assure you that we'll get to that. But first Sheldon has to make some amends to prove himself worthy of such a fine woman as Amy.

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

And here's her apartment.

I suddenly don't feel so good. Is it what I had for lunch?... No, I know that feeling. It's not indigestion. It's... _fear_. Oh, how I hate that... But I am not going to run away. _Just calm down. It's only Amy... No need to fear anything._.. Ok, she _could_ just dump me and sent me to hell. Which is not as unlikely as I wish it would be. But she could've already done that over the summer or even this morning. But she didn't... Maybe only because she was worried I'd do something stupid if she did. Can that be? If I rewind my perfect memory to the first calls after I left... Hmmm... I _did_ sound pretty desperate...

_Ok now. Be a man and just go in there... _Oh, how I missed knocking on her door. The excitement to see her in just a moment.

"Amy."

"Amy."

"Amy."

There she is, my cute little lump of... Wait, that's no woolen cardigan. It's just a blouse... Makes her look... different... Do I like that? But now is not the time to think about it. And I _surely_ shouldn't mention if I don't.

"Hello Sheldon. Come in."

"Hello Amy. Thank you."

"Can I offer you a beverage?"

"Yes, that would be nice. Thank you."

"What would you like to have?"

"Tea, please. Chamomile if you have."

"Yes, of course."

Ok, that's good. Let's kill some time with meaningless pleasantries... Now I realize _how_ much I really missed her. Look at her... Standing there preparing tea like she did countless of times before. I admire how she does everything with her hands with the utmost precision, like she does when cutting a brain... So... That blouse is a _little_ distracting... Why is she not wearing her usual clothes? I know, that she feels safe under all these shirts and cardigans. Or she _used_ to, now I don't know if that's still true. I don't like it. _Why_ isn't she wearing at least a cardigan? She should though... She _really_ should... If I can "see" her, other males can too. I really don't like it... But I also really shouldn't say that out loud... But say something I should...

"How was your day?"

"Uneventful. Well, except for your suprise visit."

"Yes... I'm really sorry for that. I knew it's a bad idea to show up unannounced at your work place."

"And still you did."

"I..."

She walks over to me on the couch and hands me the tea cup. The look on her face is one I know very well... Disapproving Amy... She has that whenever she's not happy with me... I hate that... Makes me feel unsure...

"So. You wanted to say something?"

Here it comes. It's either make it or break it, as they say...

"Well, yes."

"I'm all ears, Sheldon."

"I know I already said it many times when we spoke over the summer, but first I'd like to start with apologizing again for my behavior. I shouldn't have left like this and I shouldn't have treated you so disrespectful when you were only trying to help me. Even though I was at a really bad place at that moment, I shouldn't have acted the way I did. It wasn't your fault that everything else in my life went to hell. I am truly deeply sorry and I hope, you'll forgive me."

She's silent... That didn't work, did it? But when she starts to speak, she nods a little... That's reassuring... I hope.

"Thank you, Sheldon. That means a lot to me. And as I've said before, I _do _understand why you left. And furthermore I am actually proud of you that you tried to sort everything out by _yourself_. That was quite grown up."

I didn't expect this... Why is she making me feel better? Because she is the _most_ perfect human being on the planet...

"Thank you..."

Oh, these eyes... She's waiting for more... She's expecting more... _Stop looking into them. Just at your cup... _Yes, that's better...

"I spent a lot of time on my journey thinking about you and us. And I could explicate every one of my findings in detail. But it really can be summed up to one simple conclusion."

I can hear her breathing changed... _This is it_... Just get it out! She won't give you another chance.

"I am undeniably ... a complete ... idiot."

She doesn't say anything... I can't bring myself to look up though... But what's that? Is she _laughing_?!

"You find that _funny_?"

Still nothing from her except laughter... _How_ annoying and inappropriate...

"Amy. You _do _know that I _never in my life _before admitted that I am-"

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. Really. It's just..."

"What?"

She can't control herself... I wish she would...

"Amy. Please stop now. This isn't easy."

"I know, I know... I try."

Finally she's calming down...

"And I'm also sorry that it took me so long to finally man up enough to be able to state the obvious. I should've said it much sooner but I want you to know that I love you."

_"What?"_

Couldn't she hear me? Maybe I have to speak louder.

"I said, I love you."

Again, no reaction. She just looks at me. No, she _stares_ at me. Is she surprised? Of course, she is. Why wouldn't she? I never showed her how much she means to me. Again, I'm so stupid...

"I understand why that would surprise you. But I assure you that I do. I _really_ do. And I would also understand if you'd think that I only realized it when you threatened to leave me. But the truth is, I have known for a while. I just couldn't handle it. I know it's pathetic..."

I feel very sad suddenly... All this time wasted...

"I wasn't honest to myself and to you. I spent all this time fighting my feelings and when I couldn't, I took it out on you... _I am really sorry._.."

Oh God... She's crying now...

"Please Amy. You have to believe me. It won't be like that from now on. I'll be better. I promise."

Should I comfort her? Would she want me to hug her? I don't like hugging... But it's not important what _I _like right now... Maybe I should start with getting a little closer to her...

"Please..."

What happened to my voice?... It's trembling...

"Please forgive me."

All these tears streaming down her cheek... They make her beautiful face look sparkling... I have to do _something_... She's looking down at her hands... These elegant fingers... I take them into mine... They're so much bigger than hers... She looks up now, still crying ... Her eyes are so green and... she's _so_ close... _Don't think, just do it... _Her cheek feels so soft... _so_ soft... Oh my... The tears taste salty...

"Sheldon..."

Oh, _how _she just whispered my name... I don't care, if she wants me to stop, I'll just keep kissing her tears away... Oh, her lips... She surely wouldn't mind... OH YES, how I have missed _THAT_! They taste like... _my_ Amy... I should stop... No, I shouldn't... She doesn't move... Why?... I move then...

"Hmmm..."

She likes it! Now she finally moves her head a little... Oh! _That's_ good... Uh oh, I feel something... I need air... No, I don't... I could do this _forever_...

"Sheldon...?"

No need to talk... DON'T STOP! ... But she does and leans back... sadly... Her breathing is shallow... But so is mine... _Interesting_...

"Amy?"

"I am a little overwhelmed... I didn't expect this."

"Did you not like it?"

"No, that's not it... Is this the new "you" you have been talking about?"

"Ehm... It looks like it. Do you approve?"

THERE it is! Her smile... The one she only reserves for me. Oh that makes me happy...

"I do approve indeed."

"Good."

"BUT..."

Ah, of course...

"But don't think you can just walk in here, tell me you love me and kiss me like that and everything will be forgiven and forgotten."

No?

"No, of course not. I know I messed up enormously and I have to make up for it. And I will."

"Good."

"... So what would you like me to do for redemption?"

"Hmmm..."

That wasn't smart. Who knows what she'll come up with.

"How about adding more Date Nights to the Agreement? Once a week."

That's easy.

"Deal."

"With kissing."

It's getting even better. Does she know she's really not punishing me at all? But don't let her see that. She's trying to make me pay for my wrongdoings.

"Deal."

"With hand holding."

Ok, that _used_ to be problem, but as it was proven just a few moments ago, not anymore...

"Deal."

"With cuddling."

Don't be a baby...

"Alright."

Was that it? She's quiet know.

"With regular declarations of love."

No, she was just thinking.

"Ok."

"No quotes from movies though."

Too bad. She made me watch A LOT of these dreadful romantic comedies.

"Ok."

"They don't have to be _very_ romantic, I know you well enough to know that's not your forte."

"Ok. I'll try though."

"You won't _ever_ again belittle and/or make fun of my work."

"I never..."

_Just shut up!  
_

"I won't."

"You'll remember any aniversary and valentine's day... Without dismissing them either."

"Ok."

"Now to the Relationship Agreement in general..."

What? No! It's _perfect_ as it is... We'll add the extra Date Nights and the specifics... What else can she possibly want?

"I know you think its sole purpose is to control me and everything regarding our relationship. You use it only in your favor, at least most of the time. Don't think I wouldn't know, how pleased you were with yourself when you found loopholes that would 'disburden' you from fulfilling your boyfriend duties."

_What_ a horrible person I am... But wait, didn't I already apologized for that?... It doesn't matter, I just do it again.

"I am really sorry. I solemnly swear I will never ever do that again."

"You better won't."

"I won't... Ever... Do you want to change the Agreement... completely?"

I sound frightened... Why? Didn't I _just_ return from a lengthy trip pledging to live free of schedules and more importantly to do _anything_ to make Amy happy?

"No, don't worry. But from now on it will be executed more balanced. It should work in _both_ our favors."

What a relief...

"There's just _one_ other thing."

Will this _never_ stop?

"When I checked the paperwork, I realized that it's missing one very important understanding that we once had."

"Yes? Which one?"

"You agreed after the "break up" over which of our fields is the more superior, that 65 percent of our difficulties were caused by you."

"I don't remember that."

"Don't embarrass yourself... We'll put another addendum to the Relationship Agreement that stipulates again, that in case of conflict you accept being the main responsible party for the blame... But instead of 65 percent make it 80."

"I'll go as high as 70."

Is that really smart, trying to negotiate?

"90."

"80 it is then."

"Good. And you are aware that this also implies that _you_ are the one that has to do all the necessary apologizing? Including romantic gestures, like gifts, flowers, dinners in nice and expensive restaurants..."

I'm in hell... But she has that pleased smile on her face now...

"I know... And I accept... happily."

No, she didn't buy that last bit. But maybe she appreciates the effort... I hope she's done now...

"Perfect... That's it... For now."

"Ok."

I feel a little unsettled but at least she looks satisfied. Happy even?

"I am very glad that you agreed to see me tonight and that you're willing to give me another chance."

"You're welcome. I'm not unhappy about that either."

"Good... I should go, my hour is up."

"I actually just gave you 30 minutes... Anyway, when will the weekly Date Night fit in your schedule?"

"I told you, I have none anymore."

"Yes, but I thought that's only as long you've been away. You don't want to resume to your old routine?"

"No. Being dependent on a meticulous plan like I used to be, only leads to disappointments and stress. I don't want that anymore. I don't need that anymore."

"Wow. I'm impressed. Well then, just pick a night."

"I will. Goodbye, Amy."

"Goodbye, Sheldon."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the very appreciated reviews! I'm glad you like the story so far and I hope you'll like this chapter as well. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

Finally close to home, just another block... That bus ride was an unpleasant experience! Smelly, tired and tetchy people everywhere coming from work. And so irksome! All I said to that woman, _very nicely _if I may add, that since I'm over 30, I have no need to get breastfeeded and if she could _please_ take her sweaty cleavage out of my face. The next thing I know is that she starts to yell at me and to hit me with her big and heavy purse and then the stupid bus driver, who didn't even listen to my side, kicked _me_ out for harassing _her_. Unbelievable! I should send a complaint to Metro. I paid for the ticket! They failed to fulfill their basic function to publicly transport me home and to protect me from getting assaulted by crazy half naked people! And now I have to walk out here in the sun and torturing heat. Unacceptable! I'm tired... and hungry... People... How none of them has the decency to dress appropriately... Even though it's hot they should not forget that covering your skin is a well established social convention. I feel _burning _but I still wear my shirts and long pants... Pretty uncomfortable though... How I despise them all! There are unquestionably too many of them... Where is an alien invasion when you need one? Whatever highly developed species that would be, they would surely use these inferior specimen as food or slaves on their home planet or whatnot. Amy and me on the other hand, homo novi that we are, would undoubtedly be regarded as equals and left alone in peace... What a nice thought... Just the two of us on Earth... No one else bothering... Ever again...

Oh thank God! Home!... I urgently need a shower to get rid of all these disgusting human fluids and germs that I surely caught from that despicable person.

Ahhhh... Now I feel better but still somewhat exhausted. I'll just sit in my spot for a while... (Yes it's still _my _spot. Why would anyone in their right mind give up the _perfect_ place in the universe?). Leonard isn't here. Good.

That conversation with Amy went really well. I honestly didn't expect her to give in that easy... Why did she? When she said on the phone, she's planning to distance herself from me, she sounded disturbingly determined. I thought I would have to make amends _at least_ for weeks, months even, before she'd be willing to be with me again. I would have though, I really would have done anything... Was it what I said? But except for the parts where I admitted being an idiot and my feelings, she knew all this. I've already said it on the phone... A lot... Maybe it was the love confession... But _maybe_ it wasn't anything I've _said_ at all... _Maybe_ it was the _kiss_... Does that even make sense?... That was really one _nice_ kiss though... Strange... Why do I seem to still have troubles with hugging but not with kissing her? That _really_ doesn't make any sense. The easiest way to exchange unhygienic body fluids is to kiss someone... And yet I don't seem to mind with her... But back to Amy. Could it really be, that it was the kiss that made her change her mind so fast? Because if so, what does that mean? ... Ah, Sheldon Cooper, you really are a genius... If that's true, and I strongly believe that it is, then I just found the golden key to solve any future quarrels that we might have... Admitting to 80 percent of the blame?! Pah! It'll _never_ come to that!

"Hi Sheldon."

"Oh, hi Penny. Do you live here now?"

"Ehm... No, of course not. Why?"

"You didn't knock."

"I never do."

"That doesn't make it acceptable though."

"Are you still angry with me?"

"No. I just had a horrible bus ride and was enjoying the quiet here until you disturbed me. Where's Leonard?"

"Getting dinner."

"Oh good. I'm hungry... Since you're here, could you inform me about your plans regarding cohabiting with Leonard?"

"What?"

"When will Leonard move out?"

"Oh. Ehm... He wanted to talk with you about that."

"You can also talk with me."

"No, that's ok. I'll wait till Leonard's here."

"Ok."

She sits in Leonard's chair and looks at me... somewhat strangely. Is something going on? Do I want to know? Where is Leonard? I'm hungry... and so tired... Ahh, here he comes.

"Good evening Leonard."

"Hello. I brought dinner."

"Yes, Penny told me. Thank you."

"You're welcome. How was your day?"

"Very good except for an extremly unpleasant encounter with a womans bosom."

"What?"

"Nevermind. Let's eat, I am starving."

"Ok... But you're alright?"

"Yes. I am."

"Good."

Penny and Leonard are exchanging funny looks now. Penny is gesturing with her head to him, she wants him to tell me something. What now? I am in no mood... I just want to eat and go to my room and sleep. I didn't get much last night with thinking about Amy the whole time. And the nights before were pretty restless too. I seriously need a proper REM cycle!

"Ehm... Listen, Sheldon. There's something I wanted to ask you."

"Ask away."

"Since you're doing a lot better than a few months ago, I was wondering if you had time to think about the conversation we had before you left?"

"Which one? We had many."

"Well, you know the one about Penny and me wanting to live together?"

"Yes?"

Oh, _now_ I see where this is going. They've got to be kidding me!

"So?... Did you think about it?"

"No. I don't need to. I am not moving out."

"But you're alone and..."

"No! I am not giving up _my_ apartment."

"But..."

"No but. I am telling you once and for all, I will not move out!"

I've had enough. I hear them whispering to each other but I don't care. Back in my room again. Safe... How on earth can he possibly think that I would leave my apartment? I live here for over a decade now. My things are here, my _spot_ is here... He must be delusional... It's probably Penny's fault...

There's another reason why I don't even consider to move out. I'm not planning to live alone forever. I thought a lot about what Amy said the day I left and like with everything else, she was right. She would indeed be the perfect roommate. No one knows and understands me as well as she does. Why I freaked out about the idea, I don't know. Well... I do, but that's in the past now. I'm not afraid anymore. I confessed today that I love her! And it wasn't as awful as I thought it would be. Quite the opposite. Who knew? I should've done that a long time ago. It would've spared us a lot of distress and uneasiness and sadness... Anyhow... So I figured that after I fixed everything with her, I'll ask her to move in with me. Which now might be a lot sooner than I thought. Oh, that reminds me...

"Leonard."

"Sheldon."

"When will you move out?"

"What?"

"I asked you when you're planning to move out of this apartment."

"Do you want to get rid of me now?"

"Yes."

"Oh. That's _nice_."

Sarcasm?...I should be polite to him. He is after all my best friend.

"Look Leonard. It's not that I want to get rid of you as my friend. You know, I do appreciate our friendship. And you were a very good roommate... at times... But I feel that I need some space. I just think that living alone for a while would be good for me."

"Oh... Ok. I understand that."

"Good."

"You're really trying to make progress, aren't you?"

"Yes. I am. But I cannot give you my apartment."

"Ok. I get that. Well then I move over to Penny's as soon as possible."

"Good... When will that be?"

"Sheldon!"

"Ok! WHENEVER then!"

Back in my room... My comfy bed... I'm so tired, I _really_ need to sleep now... Maybe I dream of Amy... Hmmm...

Oh drat... Almost midnight now and I haven't slept a second. Why won't she allow me to find _any_ peace?... Amy, Amy, Amy... And that distracting blouse... and that kiss... How frustrating... Maybe hot milk will help...

No, it didn't. What now? Half past one... Well then, I just stay awake and accept the fact that I will die of sleep deprivation caused by her. Will she feel guilty at least?... No, she'll probably find that _romantic_... What has she done to me? ... I should do something useful. Where's my notebook?... Sooo, Date Night... I have to make this one special... But maybe I really don't have to... _Maybe_ I just keep kissing her... But better safe than sorry, I should prepare something nice. I'm aware that I'm on trial. If I mess up again, she will leave me for good. Also, she deserves something nice for a change that doesn't include dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. So what needs to be done?

First on my list: Ask Raj for help and make a reservation in a fancy restaurant. Second: Ask Penny and/or Bernadette for a movie that they're currently showing which Amy would like. Third: Buy flowers... _Really?_ No, that would be too much... But then, I _am_ responsible for_100_ percent of our current difficulties... Fourth: Original love declaration... That's tough... I'm not sure if a simple "I love you" would be sufficient enough. She probably wants overly romantic stuff like what they say in these movies she likes so much... Although, she liked my quote from the Spiderman movie... Maybe I should use one from another of "my" movies, they usually have some unnecessary love story in them as well... And I haven't made her watch all of them yet... I don't have to tell her... No! That's cheating... Should I ask Raj for this one too?... No, she'll probably see through that... I'll just improvise (_Really?_ Really!)... What else? Cuddling and hand holding. Well, we can do that in the movie theater. Maybe even later... _Maybe_ we could go back to her place... Oh, _that_ kiss just won't leave my mind. I so hope we can do that again. I really have to make sure we'll go to her apartment afterwards...

I used to despise everything physical. But that was before Amy. It took me a little while to figure that out (_Years aren't a while. It's FOREVER!... _Shut up)... BUT then the dreams started. I hated them, naturally. Although I was still quite able to supress any other _reactions_ to them, I kept a safe distance to Amy and everything regarding _that_ area. Then I discovered, that I am not as opposed to the idea of getting intimate as I used to. When I took care of her when she pretended to be sick was _quite_ the experience I have to admit... That bath... No no no, don't go _there_ now... Anyway, I even told Penny that I'm working on my issues. And I did. Not as much as I should have but nevertheless constantly. But the sex talking during the Dungeons and Dragons game really freaked me out. Not during but afterwards. I still can't believe that it was actually _my_ idea to continue the game. I used to tell myself that I did it for her. To give her something that in real life I couldn't. Only, that I really wanted it myself. To give _me_ something that I wasn't ready to do. With the effect that the dreams got worse... _much_ worse. No amount of Kolinahr helped anymore. In them we mostly repeated what we said to each other that evening. Only in human form... In our own bodies... I know more of her body than one would think... That bath... Hmmm... Damn, where was I? Yes, the dreams... So I woke up every other night, mostly after we had a date, with an _unbearable_ situation. That made me _so _angry. How could it be, that this woman reduces me to that? Doing the _most_ humiliating things just to satisfy ones urges! I couldn't accept that. So as usual I was fighting it and of course I made her suffer for the "pain" she's been causing me. Every time I had to deal with the "pressing problem" by myself, I felt horrible. _It's just so below me._ And I blamed her and human nature in general. The problem really is my eidetic memory. _I cannot even forget my freaking dreams!_ And the images of what we were doing... what I did to her... she to me... Oh no, better not think about _that_ too much... Anyway, now I know that I really want to. Not right away, but eventually. Because I'm certain that I'll like it, if the contents of my dreams are _any_ indication... Also, I'm human (sadly) and there's just no denying that it feels good... _really_ good. So I'm finally giving in to my primal desires and of course it's _disturbingly _degrading but I don't care anymore...

_Great! Well done, and how am I supposed to sleep now?_ DAMN!...


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Thank you again for reading! I hope you'll like this chapter and please let me know what you think. Reviews are very appreciated. Thank you!

* * *

**CHAPTER 5**

Finally Date Night! I'll pick her up in half an hour. Everything is set for a magical night of romance. I even wear a dress shirt. I hope she'll like it.

The effing bus is late... Being independent from others has some disadvantages but I didn't want Leonard or Penny to drive me to Amy. I am a grown man after all. Even if that means I have to suffer through another nightmarish ride with stupid people. I should have a driver license. Should I try that again?... No, because if I'm honest the thought scares me. Too many things to concentrate on, too many distractions around, too many catastrophic possibilities to consider... I would probably kill myself within a week... Or worse, others. I don't like people but I don't want to drive them over either... Nor do I want to end up in prison for that... The few hours I had been locked up were really enough for a life time... And the reason I was there in the first place was me driving... So the bus it is... And here is mine, 8 minutes late... I should write another complaint...

At last, my stop!

"Amy"

"Amy"

"Amy"

"Hi Sheldon. Oh, are these flowers for me? They're beautiful!"

What is she wearing?! ... _Don't stare at her like that! Say something! NOW!_

"Ehhh... Hello... Amy... That's nice... you look... nice... really... very... nice."

_Perfect!_ I've lost not only the capability to speak in complete sentences but my voice altogether... She's killing me... and the grin on her face tells me she's doing it intentionally... I am not going to survive this...

"Why, thank you. It's a new dress I bought while you're away. Penny..."

Ah, of course...

"... suggested that I would feel better if I'd spent an ridiculous amount of money on new clothes and shoes. She and Bernadette went with me and you wouldn't _believe_ what kind of dresses they wanted me to buy. But this I like."

Yeah, me too... _Look at her face for God's sake!... _No, that doesn't help either... Smiling at me, eyes all bright and shiny... She's standing right in front of me... But not close enough... Just a little closer... Better... Why are my hands cupping her face? Oh... _that's_ why... Her skin is even softer now without the tears... She has her eyes closed... Hmmm... these lips... they're going to be the death of me... Is that intoxicating smell her perfume?... My hands are moving?... Grabbing her neck to pull her closer?... Oh! This is _better! _Her lips pressed hard against mine... She makes little sounds... _Nice_... Ohhh, what's happening? Down there? Careful... Keep distance... I should stop... Really? Why?... Be a good boyfriend... Ookayyy...

"Ehm... We should get going. We'll loose the reservation otherwise."

"Oh... sure. I'll just put these in water and get my purse."

* * *

So far the date is going splendidly... Now we're in the movie theater. I'm already holding her hand and she's delighted... I'm ignoring her dress the best I can... She's showing too much skin... What happened to her over the summer?... Penny... She should use her time with concentrating on her own life if she ever wants to accomplish anything, instead of forcing my girlfriend to spent money on clothes that expose her like that to the male population... The whole evening I noticed that men were glancing at her... My pretty Amy... I can't blame them, but I most certainly blame Penny...

I couldn't care less about the movie though. BORING!... Amy liked the restaurant very much and we talked for two hours about everything that's on _her_ mind... On one phone call over the summer, she accused me of not listening and not being appreciative enough of the things she is interested in. She said that she's done with only getting my attention when she's worshipping me. That was harsh, I have to admit. I tried to argue... naturally. I still think she's not completely right, not to mention that she made it very clear _repeatedly_, that she finds _my_ hobbies childish and stupid. Although, she did try... She watched "Raiders" with me (and ruined it) and baked that wonderful Death Star cake (yummy!)... And that trip on the vintage train she planned last Valentine's Day was perfect... For many reasons... Oh, I love thinking about that... Not the part though where I was very close to ruin it... On the other side, _she_ said that I was ruining it. _I_ think I was just doing what's perfectly understandable, enjoying the experience with a fellow train enthusiast, since she had no interest whatsoever to talk about the many exciting details... She also did say, that the trip was for _both_ of us to enjoy... But I understand now, that she really meant, it was for _her_ to enjoy Valentine's Day with an attentive boyfriend. And because I'm me, she needed to basically bribe me to do something nice for her... I shouldn't have made her do that. Especially since the year before she passed on everything remotely romantic because she knew I didn't care for that and we just ordered pizza and watched a movie... So in retrospect she might have a point. I'm great in expressing my dislike of things, but I'm not good in showing what I like. At least it appears so when it comes to Amy. So now I'm worshipping her and the things she likes... I suspect it won't always be easy though... Like with this movie... But I won't say anything. The new improved Dr. Sheldon Cooper knows when's best to shut up.

Thank God, at last it's over. So they lived happily ever after... Why it took almost two hours to get there I have no idea. I should be careful though, don't let her see what I'm thinking. She's fumbling with her purse now. Why? A tissue? She won't get sick now, would she? I look at her face searching for signs for an infection... Oh, of course, she's just crying because it's so 'romantic'. Unbelievable, how the smartest woman on this planet gets all girly because of a 'love story'. She dries her face and looks up at me, smiling. There are still some tiny tears around her shiny eyes... Sweet...

"Did you like the movie?"

"Yes, very. And you?"

"It was alright."

Really, that's the best I can do without lying straight to her face... She looks skeptical at me... I think. But I just smile, hoping she doesn't ask any further. We're walking to her car now... Still holding hands...

"You really meant it, when you said, you want to be different, didn't you?"

"Why would I say something like that if I didn't mean it?"

"I don't know. To keep me as your girlfriend so that you wouldn't have to deal with more alterations?"

That hurt.

"I can see, why you would think that. But no, I want to be a better boyfriend, a better man, for you... I love you and you deserve it."

"Oohh... Thank you... And by way... smoothly done, Sheldon. That was a very good love declaration."

"You made it easy."

We're both laughing... that feels good.

"I can drop you off at home, so you won't have to take the bus."

"Ehmmm..."

How do I say gentlemanly that I want to go back to her apartment so that we can continue with the kissing?

"No, we should go to your place. I still owe you cuddling."

"Ohhh."

* * *

And here we are... _finally_.

"Can I get you a glass a Yoohoo?"

"No thank you."

"Something else?"

"No, I'm good."

"Ok."

So what now? I'm suddenly nervous. I shouldn't just stand here... She comes over and sits down on the couch. I should follow... Why am I hesitating? It's what I wanted, isn't it?... She looks at me... expectantly. I know that look too well. It's usually followed by the look of disappointment... I _won't_ disappoint her tonight... So _what's_ the problem? _JUST MOVE TO THE COUCH!_... Oh God... I'm frozen... I'm having a panic attack...

"Amy? I _can't."_

She's starting to look upset... Oh no...

"I know. I asked for too much."

"No! You really didn't. It's not that I don't want to. I do... It's just that... I can't _move_... _or_ _breathe_..."

"Ok. Calm down, Sheldon. It's alright. _Really. _Please just sit down."

She's next to me now and leads me over to the couch... I feel _horrible_. I am such a pathetic excuse for a man... _Don't cry now_... She sits next to me at a safe distance. I hate it.

"Just breathe, Sheldon. I'm going to make you a cup of tea, ok?"

I nod... that's all I am able to do right now... What's going on? Why is the thought of cuddling freaking me out? _It is JUST cuddling! _We already did that many times. I would only have to put my arms around her... No big deal! Or is it? It's more her arms around me that's upsetting... _Why? _

"Here you go."

She sits back next to me... still keeping her distance... She's so thoughtful... and I'm such a mess...

"Thank you."

The silence is deafening...

"Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive."

"Yes, there _is._ I promised you cuddling, I promised you that things would be different now... and yet, here we are again, _me_ freaking out and _you_ being the best girlfriend ever."

"But it _is _different."

"How?"

"You're talking to me. You're not just running away."

That's true... Silver lining...

"Amy, I have been thinking a lot about our _situation_."

"What situation?"

"The physical intimacy situation."

"Oh... _that_ situation."

"Yes. And I want you to know that I really want that for us... And I thought I would be ready to start... But... apparently I was wrong."

"I wouldn't say that."

"No? Why?"

"The Sheldon who kissed me tonight and the other day, is _definitely_ not the Sheldon who kissed me before."

"No?"

"_Absolutely_ not."

"That's good, right?"

"Yes. _Very_ good."

More silver lining...

"You know, I've been reasoning about that as well."

"About what?"

"Why I seem to be ok with kissing but not with touching or too much of it."

"And?"

"I really have no clue except that it doesn't make any sense."

"Well, psychological issues often doesn't. Whatever the cause, you shouldn't pressure yourself too much. That _certainly_ cannot be helpful."

"But how do I get over it then?"

"Maybe we can work on that together?"

"Hmm... What do you suggest?"

"I don't know... All I _do _know is, that now we want the same and we should enjoy getting there. Neither of us should feel insecure or afraid of failure... You know, you can talk to me. Just tell me what you want. What you're ready for... We can try things out..."

Oh... Just think about the _possibilities_...I am starting to feel better...

"... and you know, I am also nervous about it."

She is?

"You are?"

"Yes of course."

"But you always seemed to know what you want."

"Well, yes. I know that I want to be with you like _that_. But I have no experience whatsoever. All I know is from books I've read or from movies I've seen."

"Oh."

"So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"About trying to work on your intimacy issues together."

"I think that it could work. We should try. How do you propose we proceed?"

She's thinking. She looks adorable when she's in deep thought... That dress she's wearing is somehow occupying my attention again... It's dark blue with yellow and white small flowers on it. Pretty. It's short-sleeved and her cleavage and arms are mostly uncovered... _That_ is an appealing cleavage, not like that hideous thing in the bus... Argh, don't think about that now... It ends shortly _above_ her knees and reveals almost half of her thighs when she sits... She has _nice_ legs...

"I think the best approach is to start with something easy or _easier_. Maybe a hug at the end of our dates?"

She wants an innocent hug and I want to grab her naked knees. We're not going in the same direction here... Although, just a few moments ago, I was shock frozen by the thought of a little cuddling. Her approach is probably the right one.

"Ok. We can do that."

"Sheldon?"

"Yeah?"

"You're alright?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm a lot better now."

"Because you're staring at my legs..."

Oh! That's true...

"They look nice."

"Ooohhh... _Thank you,_ Sheldon."

She's smiling bright now. At least I could give her that.

"I should go now. It's late."

"You want me to drive you home?"

"No, thanks. Some fresh air is what I need."

"Ok."

We're standing uncertain at the door. Do we start with the hugging tonight?... _Come on, just hug her and give her a little goodbye kiss... First, take a step forward... Alright, and now move your arms and put them around her... Good...ish... _She does the same but I can hardly feel it because she's not pulling. It's not that bad, is it?... _Now drop your head a little and give her a kiss...Very good. Nothing spectacular but nonetheless nice... And now get out of here before you can ruin the moment!_

"Goodnight Amy."

"Goodnight Sheldon. And thank you for the nice evening."

"You're welcome."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the reviews.

I have to admit that I finally understand the difficulties with writing a story in first person. There are certain things which are not that easy to describe when the person telling the story is busy doing them... But as I've said, I'm really a novice with writing and I just keep going and see where this goes...

I hope, you'll like this chapter. Please let me know what you think. Thank you!

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

I'm used to being here again. The days and weeks just fly by and before I knew it two months have passed. They're still forcing me at Caltech to work on that dead end subject. Morons! Well, I'll just wait another while and if nothing changes I'll start to look around. If they're too narrow minded to value my genius then I just have to find a place where they will. That cannot be that difficult.

Leonard moved out. But it's really not that different as before. We still meet at my place for dinner and game nights. It's like nothing has changed, like the summer away hasn't happened at all... Or so it must seem from the outside... They are all the same, but I'm not. I still do enjoy the games and the new comic books, but... I don't know, it's just _different_. I'm not into that as I used to, I guess... Maybe it's what Obi-Wan Arthur said to me in my dream, about appreciating the people in my life more instead of concentrating on the other stuff. Not that I agree completely with that. There is just nothing, _nothing_, wrong with having fun playing video games and reading comics and watching movies even for the umpteenth time. But I admit that I rarely ever play alone anymore. It's just much more fun with the company of my friends... Although they still treat me like they always did. Everytime I say, that I don't care about what we have for dinner or on what day we go to the new comic book store, they look at me strangely... I'm not really sure, but if I have to guess, I think they look a little bit afraid. Like they used to when they said I am just an accident away from becoming a super villain... Are they thinking that I'm about to lose my mind? Why? First of all, they _really_ should know by _now_ that I am NOT crazy, and secondly, since when is it a sign of someone "losing it" when one just doesn't care that much about dinner menues and comic books? They really should grow up...

The good thing about my current situation at work and living alone is, that I can concentrate on my intimacy issues, as Amy called them... Really, who would have _ever_ believed that getting physical with a woman would _ever_ be a priority of mine?! Not that long ago I would have dismissed that person as mad as a hatter... And I _did_, if I think about it... _often_...

Amy and I are getting along much better now. I'm really trying to be a good boyfriend and I think I am. She said so at least and that makes me very glad. I feel so much more at ease with everything now that I'm not holding back or keep fighting things that can't be defeated in the first place. I try to fulfill all her requests. I'm not always succeeding though. The love declaration thing turned out to be the most difficult part. Not because I'm afraid to say it, but I tend to forget that I'm supposed to. But then I make up for it the next time I remember. Although, she doesn't complain about it.

When I'm in a bad mood and do something that upsets her, and that happens in weak moments I'm ashamed to admit, I apologize just as it's stipulated in the Agreement. It also turned out, that kissing is _not_ the golden key to make up for my wrongdoings as I hoped it would be. She saw right through that when I tried it the first time and as a result, she refused to kiss me altogether as punishment for trying to find a loophole again. So now, whenever I do something stupid... or if she says I did... I go through the whole redemption program: I dress up (I even went shopping with Penny!), we go to a very exclusive restaurant, to the theater, a museum or whatever else she likes to do. I _never_ lament. I honestly enjoy these evenings as well. Mostly because Amy is happy. And that makes me happy... The tiara got company also. A necklace and a new bracelet. Both silver, because my Amy is no gold person. I didn't know, but that's what Penny said. I like silver best too. Gold... the woman on the bus was covered in cheap looking necklaces and bracelets and rings... Argh... How distasteful! Why can't I just forget this horrendous experience? I hate my memory in times like this. And the stupid Metro hasn't answered to my complaints yet as well. That's not very customer-friendly... Morons!

Where was I? Oh yes, my weak moments... I had a very_, very_, bad week a while ago with the situation at work and then that cretin Kripke started to annoy me enormously. But Amy looked never happier. After a few days her whole apartment smelled like a florist. She even sent me texts with what kind of flowers she wants to have... I should be worried that she seemed to enjoy my misery but then again I should've just kept my mouth shut and not started fights about the most trivial (_her _words) things... Like if it's appropriate for me to explain her how she's supposed to use disinfectants properly (regularly for a start, and always at least twice as much as the description states)... Or if it's ok for me to judge her ability to park the car in a basically empty parking lot (there are white stripes on the ground for a reason, woman! Rules to save lifes!)... Or if am allowed to make her wear cardigans at work even though it's freaking boiling hot (I'm not)... Or if I can forbid her to speak with Kripke (I can't... But I won't let this one go though... He knows _things_ that she doesn't and I would very much prefer if it stays so... I don't want her to know about the mushing of our bathing suit areas... I also have the feeling that making up for that will take a lot more than a piece of jewelry or a dinner in a nice restaurant)... Hmm... Now that I think about it, I had to make up for messing up a lot in only two months... If I'm not careful she owns a jewelry store this time next year... Anyway, all in all we get along great!

And also with the hugging and kissing business. We hug every time we see each other, sometimes we even cuddle a little on the couch while watching a movie or a documentary. We kiss a lot... No tongue though... yet... I'm still hesitant when it comes to that. I just can't imagine that having someone else's tongue in your mouth could possibly feel good. But they're all doing it... So there must be _something_ to it... At present I'm actually thinking about a way to move things forward without putting myself in a situation again where I freak out. That was _really_ disheartening. I was _so_ confident that I'm ready for the whole touching thing... The truth is that there is one specific thought that just won't leave my mind... When she said that _I_ could tell her what I want, what exactly did she mean? That _she_ would do these things then? Could I really just tell what to do? And _how? _I have to find a way to bring that up elegantly when she comes over in... Oh! 4 minutes.

"Hi Sheldon."

"Hello Amy. Please come in."

"Thank you."

"Can I offer you a beverage?"

"Yes, water please."

She's goes over to the couch and sits down on her spot... I still don't know how to proceed...

"Here."

"Thanks. So. How was your day, Sheldon?"

"Boring. Yours?"

"Also not very exciting. I'm still looking for a new project but so far nothing came up."

"Who knew that there would be a time when we have nothing of interest to tell about our respective work?"

"Yeah... Quite disappointing actually."

"Yes... but maybe we can use this time to talk about _other things_ that are on our minds."

Good opening...

"Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

"Ehm... Actually there is."

"Please, go ahead then."

I can't look at her... I should though... No, I can't... I feel embarrassed... But if I let this opportunity go, I'll regret it and at some point we _have_ to talk about it, otherwise we will spend _forever_ with hugging... When in my mind we already do so much more... a lot more...

"Sheldon? "

"Yes, yes... Ok... I've been _thinking_..."

"About?"

"What we said on our first date after I came back."

"What specifically?"

"I mean the part about us working on my issues together."

"Oh, that... Are you not satisfied with the progress? I thought that it goes really well. You seem to get used to us hugging and even cuddling. You almost never get tense anymore."

"No, I _am_ satisfied with that. It's just..."

"You know you can tell me everything, right?"

"Yes, I know."

"So why aren't you looking at me?"

"I'm not sure I can say what I want to when I do."

"Oh, ok."

Just get it out...

"It's actually something _you've_ said that made me _wondering_..."

"What did I say?"

"That I could tell you what I want."

"Yes?"

"If I did, would you _do_ it then?"

"Ohhh..."

Should I elaborate more or did she understand what I'm trying to say?

"I have to ask. You're _not_ talking about hugging and cuddling, are you?"

"No. I'm not."

Now I have to look at her. Is she shocked? Surprised? Disgusted?... Neither... She looks ... _excited_... That's reassuring...

"Would you do what I ask you to, then?"

"As long as I feel comfortable, yes, I would."

"Of course, I would _never_ want you to feel-"

"I know, it's ok... So... _Do you already have something in mind that I could do for you?_"

Oh... I never heard that voice... It's... _seductive_... Breathe... just _keep_ breathing... _Nothing_ happend yet...

"Excuse me for a moment please."

"Sheldon?"

Just some water in my face... Yes, that helps... _Look at you, you coward... There she is outside, ready to do what you have fantasized about for AGES and yet here you are hiding in the bathroom... Seriously, it's getting ridiculous... Are you man or a boy who likes to cuddle for the rest of his life?... _No, I am a man! ... _SO GET THE HELL OUT THERE!_

"Everything alright?"

"Yes. Sorry for that."

I'm in my spot again looking at her...I'm determined to go through with this now... _But start with something easy... Don't mess up!_

"No need to be sorry... Should we watch a movie or maybe a documentary?"

"No."

"A round of counterfactuals then?"

"No."

"What _do_ you want to do?"

Come on... Just say it...

"I want you to stand up and come over here."

"What?"

"I want you to stand _right here _in front of me."

"Why?"

"You said you'd do what I want you to do. You didn't say I have to _explain_ it."

"Oh, ok."

She gets up and makes a step to the right, exactly as I told her to and looks down at me, waiting expectantly for what will come next...

"Come closer to me."

She does and my legs are now in the middle of hers... I can feel her skin through the fabric of my pants... That feels nice... Warm somehow... I want to touch them... I can't stop looking at her face... Her eyes are so beautiful... I realize that slowly my arms are making movements of their own... I should be worried, but I'm not... _Just keep it happening..._ OH! She is so soft! My fingertips are touching the hollow of her knees, starting to make small circles...

"Ohhh..."

I almost didn't hear her... But that sound she made is making me... I want _more_... I can hear her breathing changed, but so has mine... Faster... Shallow... It feels... amazing. She is so incredibly smooth... I just keep drawing circles on her... There's this sound again... She moans... Oh! Her legs are shaking a little now... I can see her eyes getting darker... _Oh God, _that's all so... _marvelous_... My thumbs fondle the sides of her knees now and she's inhaling sharply... The shaking intensifies and I just _love_ that I am doing this to her... She closes her eyes but I can't take mine off her... I can feel a sensation in my pants growing... But I won't stop... I _can't _stop... The sounds of our breaths filling the room... Oh! She's letting out a surprised gasp and... WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Her knees give in... OH DEAR! SHE IS SITTING ON MY LAP!

_"DON'T MOVE!"_

She doesn't... She is _so_ close now... I can see her hands moving ... _Oh no, don't panic now..._

_"Don't touch me."_

She puts her hands on her stomach... That's ok... That's safe... I need to calm down... Try to control my breathing... This is alright... There is still enough space between us... She isn't touching... She can't feel my _excitement_...

"Just stay like _this_."

Keep breathing... in ... and out... In ... and out... Yes,_ I can do this._.. I start to touch her knees again... This is nice... _Sooo nice... _I have forgotten whatever it was that distracted me from doing this as soon as l felt her skin again... Her breathing is becoming heavier... Her chest is moving fast... _Really_ fast... She's looking at me in a way I've never seen before... I love it... I move up with my hands on her thighs until I reach the hem of her skirt...

"Oohh... Sheldon."

Her voice is driving me... crazy... The sensation in my pants is growing uncomfortably now... I need to do something about that... I need to...

"Amy."

I can hardly speak, I'm breathing so fast...

"I need to... _stop."_

"Oh... ok."

After a moment she stands up and puts her skirt straight.

"Please excuse me."

And off she is to the bathroom... That's good. I need to get myself together now... Calm my breathing and think about something really unpleasant... like... What now? Nothing?... She'll be back any moment... Ok, I _do_ know repulsive things... like... Argh... Nothing... I'm disappointed with my brain... That's a first... _and_ disturbing enough to help with the situation in my pants... What a relief!

There she comes... She looks ... flushed. How cute!... Maybe I should check how I look...

"Amy. Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Because you stand in the middle of the room and stare at your feet."

"Oh, ehm... Well..."

"Please sit down. Will you?"

She sits down at Leonard's chair. And now she looks at me... She seems... unsure? But why?

"Amy? Was that too much? Did I do something wrong? What are you thinking?"

"No, it wasn't too much, just not what I expected. I'm surprised that's all. But _good_ surprised! And therefore you didn't do anything wrong. Lastly, I'm thinking that hopefully you enjoyed this as much as I did."

"I did. I _certainly_ did... So it was a pretty good start, don't you think?"

"You _literally_ swept me off my feet. I'd say that's a _perfect_ start."

I feel simply great... Maybe we should start another... The woman in the bus! _That's_ repulsive. Why didn't I think about that? Oh why, _why_ do I now?

"Sheldon? You're ok?"

"I'm great. Why?"

"For a moment your face twitched. Like it always does when you think about something unpleasant."

"Oh, no. Don't worry. It was just something else _completely_ unrelated."

"Ok... I should go now."

"You do? Oh, alright."

She gets up and grabs ger purse and walks to the door... Hmmm... She somehow seems... I don't know...

"Amy, wait."

I quickly walk over to her before she can leave the apartment... She seems to be in a hurry... Why? Does she want to get away from me?

"You forgot the hug."

"Oh. Yes. Sorry."

"Are you sure that everything is ok?"

"Are you?"

"Yes. I told you."

The way she looks up at me... I think she's not really convinced... I convince her... I wrap my arms around her and pull her close, not keeping the safe distance I usually do... Our chests touching softly... I can feel her heartbeat... I can feel her... boobs... Oooh, _nice!_... Why isn't she...Good, there are her arms around me now... I love the smell of her shampoo and her soft hair tingling on my skin... But I wanted to assure her that everything is well and not to bury my face in her neck and enjoy the feeling of her bosom... Ohhh... I love her lips soooo much... I should let her go now... No, just a little bit more... _Uh oh..._ Ok, stop now... Really... Now... Oh!... OH!... She parts her lips a little... The _temptation_!... Just suck a bit on her lower lip... Hmmm... She likes this as much as I do... Her arms tighten around me... Too close now... I have another situation going on... _Take a step back and let her go!.._. No... Yes... No... Yes... Damn.

"Ehmm... So... Goodnight Amy."

"Yes... Ehm... Goodnight Sheldon."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the kind reviews, they are very much appreciated.

Again I have to say that as much fun it is to be in Sheldon's head, so to speak, it turned out to be pretty difficult to have him describe all the details when they get _things_ going. I fear that if I have him say everything too detailed it would pretty much just kill the mood. Therefore I'm afraid I can only provide hints... Good ones though, I hope... ;-)

I hope you'll like this chapter and please let me know what you think. Thank you!

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

The weeks and months just come and go and _nothing_ newsworthy is happening... I wake up, go to the bathroom, get dressed, have breakfast, go to work and waste more of my precious genius mind on stupid string theory, have lunch with the guys... Every day, every week. And there I convinced myself that I wouldn't live by any routine anymore. But to be honest, I'm surprisingly ok with that. Since that evening at my place, all I can think about is Amy anyway. It became our own routine now. She sits on my lap and I touch her legs until I can't take it anymore. That is what's really frustrating me. She _still_ can't touch me and I _still_ can't bring myself to do anything more. Which is _so_ not making _any_ sense, because when we're "hugging" I have no troubles with getting close to her, to have her arms wrapped around me, to feel her body... I don't know what's going on in my stupid mind and that's _really_ aggravating! What's so brilliant about that? Having the most beautiful girlfriend who's eager to fulfill my desires when I just wouldn't let her?! While that's _all_ I can think about when she's _not_ with me... I shouldn't ponder too much about about it though, Amy said. She's happy with the way things are and she doesn't want to move forward too fast anyway. I'm not sure if she really means that or if she's just trying to make me feel better. But I'm also afraid to ask...

However, today is a special day and for the last week I was busy planning it. And I did good!... I hope... Today is our anniversary. Three years ago I asked Amy to be my girlfriend. One year, 6 months, 3 days, 4 hours and 17 minutes after we first met. I cannot stress enough what an idiot I am. But anyway. It's no secret that I didn't care for anniversaries or any other celebration and therefore I basically ruined every one of them since then. I either "forgot" them (she was lucky when I called her on her birthday... Really, that woman deserves a prize for sticking with me for so long) or complained about how insufferable I find the whole notion. So I figured that I have to make up for that. Not to mention that I know that she knows that I know that this is something she mentioned the first time we met after I returned. _I am not allowed to forget our special days_. She hasn't said anything about our anniversary of her own accord and I find that suspiciously unusual. She's still testing me and that's a little upsetting to be honest. Three months of being the poster boy for all boyfriends on this planet (with a few minor missteps) and she still doesn't trust me? But I guess that three good months don't make up for three so-so years. The point is though, that now I have every relevant day not only in my mind but, to be on the safe side, also on my calendar. I get reminded two weeks prior so that I have enough time for planning. And I did really good. The date will be so romantic, it will define the whole concept anew! She suspects nothing so far, I only told her that she's supposed to be ready at 6.

I'm dressed in a new suit I bought a few days ago that Penny picked out... I know a grown man should be able to choose his own clothing. But what can I say? She has an eye for stuff like that. That's a talent she has. She wasn't pleased though, when I suggested a job in a clothes shop... My arm still hurts where she hit me...

* * *

Penny also agreed to drive me to Amy. I don't want to ruin my fancy suit in the bus or a cab.

"So how will you get to the place, _wherever_ that is, from Amy's? You didn't think that to have her drive as usual is appropriate for the occasion, did you?"

"No, of course not."

Actually I did, I mean Amy always does, so why change something that has proven to be working perfectly for both of us? But when I spoke with Raj, he pointed out that it might only have been working perfectly _for me_. I know, I should make all the planning for our dates by myself, but seriously, that man is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to all things remotely romantic. So what, if use Google or Raj... no difference really.

"And I'm not driving you either!"

"You don't have to. We're going to be picked up"

"By whom?"

"I ordered a limousine."

"WHAT?! And why am I driving you _now_?"

"Because I didn't order it to my place."

"And _why_ didn't you?"

"I didn't think it's necessary since you agreed to drive me... PENNY! Don't roll your eyes! Look at the street! You're not going to kill us today!"

"Gee, calm down... I _only_ agreed to drive you because I thought I would do you and Amy a favor. You _do_ know that I have a life and a _wedding_ to plan?"

"_Please_. First, what life? And second, you're not planning anything. _Leonard_ does... Besides, I don't understand why you're so annoyed. You have driven me countless times to Amy."

"Yes, and I kinda thought your so called 'new you' wouldn't need me for that anymore. Didn't you just _lecture _me a few days ago about how your trip made you an even more superior being than you already are? How come that this 'Homo Novus 2.0' still can't drive?"

"For the same reasons the 'Homo Novus 1.0' couldn't. In fact, it makes perfect sense. If I was too highly developed for driving before, of course my improved status is even more evolved for such a lesser task."

"You're so full of it."

"Of what?... Please, look at the street!"

"But Amy can drive. Does that make her one of us 'lesser' beings?"

Drat. I always hoped that no one would ever discover this crucial weak point in my argumentation.

"Sheldon? So what is it? Is she as _inferior_ to you like the rest of us or is she... one of your 'species'?"

"Ehm... Obviously she is... even _more_ evolved than me... Amy is the first and only 'Homo Novus 3.0'... And you should consider yourself _blessed_ that she has chosen _you_ to be her friend."

I'm very pleased with my answer...

"Wow, I'm impressed, I give you that. Admitting that Amy is better than you. Which is _so_ true. But it's still all bullshit and you know that, you're just too stupid to drive a car."

"I'm not."

"Whatever... Why wouldn't you tell me what you've planned for your anniversary?"

"Because you're a blabbermouth and I didn't want you to spoil the surprise for Amy."

"What?! I wouldn't have!... You can _save_ that condescending look."

"But I'm right. You can't keep a secret. Everybody knows that."

"You can tell me now."

"No."

"Why? We're almost there."

"You could call her while I go up to her apartment. Or you could text her."

"I wouldn't do that."

"I'm not going to risk that anyway... _Again_, Penny, look at the damn street!"

"So this is what I get for spending the afternoon with you shopping and driving you to your precious date. Nothing."

"First and foremost, it's _never_ nothing to spend time with me. Also, if you're nice, I might tell Leonard what I did for Amy tonight and he can learn a thing or two about how to successfully impress your significant other. You can clearly see how you would benefit from that... Ow! Don't hit me! It still hurts from last time."

"You're such a baby. That wasn't even hard."

"Violence is _never_ the answer."

"Sometimes it _really_ is... Here we are. Get out."

"Ok... Penny?"

"What now?"

"Thank you for the ride."

"Save the puppy face... You're welcome. But I want to know what you're doing with Amy tonight."

"No!"

* * *

I so hope that Amy will like what I've planned. I'm excited and a little nervous.

"Amy"

"Amy"

"Amy"

"Hello Sheldon... Wow, you look dashing!"

"Thank you. You look very pretty yourself."

Understatement of the century! The dress is violet with something flowery on it, with a round neckline and sleeves that end shortly above her elbows and the hem ends around her... Oh, her knees... Hmm... I might have a problem here... What is it with her knees that I find so fascinating?... Anyway, she looks amazing. She's also wearing the necklace and the bracelet I've bought her.

"I take that back. You look amazing."

"Oh, thank you Sheldon!... Come here..."

She smiles when she grabs my tie and tugs on it... I _love_ that flirtatious smile of hers... I _love_ the expectant look in her eyes when I'm about to kiss her... Hmmm... Oh no, she ends the kiss way too soon... I must look as disappointed as I feel...

"I don't want to ruin my make up."

"Oh, ok."

"So... What's the plan?"

"Well... First, we're having dinner in an italian restaurant which has been awarded to be the best in town."

"Uhh, _nice_... And then?"

"You'll have to wait. It's a surprise."

"Ohh, how exciting!"

Her doorbell is ringing. Must be the driver.

"Who's that? Penny?"

"No, our car is here."

"What? I don't have to drive?"

"No, _of course_ not. Come on, let's go."

She grabs her purse and a cardigan and walks pass me as I hold the door open... I'm the perfect gentleman. Who knew that all these tedious hours being forced to learn all about 'etiquette' at these Cotillion lessons would someday put to good use?

"Sheldon! A limousine? How fancy!"

She's smiling bright now as she gets into the car with the help of the driver. I walk around to the other side and give him the address of the restaurant. So far, so good... We're driving now... Damn... I can't stop staring at her legs again. I so badly want to touch them... Her knees and thighs... I gulp at the sight of her exposed skin... I always do lately... But we're in public and I am _not_ going to lose all self effacement in front of others... Although... The driver can't see us through the shield and the windows are also impenetrable from the outside... But no! That wouldn't be appropriate!... Really, I won't do that... I won't!

Oh, that was fast. We already arrived at the restaurant. I haven't spoken with Amy the whole time... that's not good... What is wrong with me? How can her legs distract me all the time?... Now she's walking in front of me... She also has a nice rear... _Get yourself together! Be a gentleman! _

"This is a very nice restaurant, Sheldon."

"Let's hope the food is as good as they say."

"I'm sure it is... Is everything alright? You've been quiet the whole ride."

"Oh yes. I just hope that everything will be as perfect as I've planned."

"I'm certain it will be... Thank you for doing that."

"No need to thank me... Shall we order?"

"Yes."

The food is indeed delicious. And currently we're having a delightful conversation about... something biology related... I'm all ears though... Why do I think about her boobies then? I wonder how they look... I didn't get a full view when I helped her with that bath two years ago... Sadly... That dress is a little too tight I notice now... On purpose obviously, because it fits her perfectly... She must have gone shopping again with Penny as well. My Amy wouldn't wear something like that... But she does... She wouldn't wear this at work, would she? Should I bring up that cardigan issue again?... No, better not... I better listen what she's saying right now... I also better look at her face when she's talking...

"So, will you tell me now what comes next?"

"No. But we have to go soon if we want to get there in time."

"Oh, I'm so curious!"

"Good."

* * *

We're in the limousine again and I just stare outside the window... _Ignore the legs! They're not there..._ I _won't _reach out to touch them... I won't!... Ouch! My hands are hurting, I should loosen the pressure, I'm squeezing them too strongly... Oh, what's that? Amy lays her hand above mine now. I look at her and she smiles at me, looking _so_ sweet... Ohhh... I can't help but to smile as well...

"Sheldon?"

"Yes, Amy."

"Are you really ok?"

"Yes... I just... ehm..."

I lean in closer to her. I know the driver can't hear or see us but who knows? I better whisper.

"It's just that... you look very... alluring tonight and I'm having some difficulties to... ehm... keep my hands off you."

"Oh!"

NO! AMY! WE'RE IN A CAR! WITH WINDOWS!... Oh boy... Her hands grab the back of my head and she's kissing me... Oh, like I've never been kissed before!... _Ardent_... Her lips taste like wine... I like that... My hands grip her cheeks... Ohhhh... Her mouth opens a little as she lets out a small moan... The _temptation_ again... I _can't_ resist... The tip of my tongue is tracing along her upper lip... Oh shit! This is _good!..._ She let's out a whimper and I'm... _losing_ it... I can hear my own shattered breathing... I want more... _Now_... My grip on her head gets stronger and I force her mouth open with my tongue and she gives in... _Shit!_... I feel her... Our tongues intertwined... This is the _most_ exciting sensation I've _ever_ felt... And it goes straight down to my groins... I don't care... _So good_... I could do this forever... _Please God, make this go on forever... _Oh yes, my hand where it belongs... On her knee... Fondling the soft skin... Her hold of me gets tighter, I love that... Where are we again?... My hand entagled with her hair, pressing her closer to me... Just like she does..._ Jesus!._.. I can feel my hand moving up her thigh... I feel the fabric of her dress on my hand... Going up... and up... Oh God... She's moaning by the feeling of my touch... My fingers grab the flesh of her inner thigh by the sound of it... I feel her hand sliding under my jacket at my back as she pulls me closer... Oohhh Fuck!... I'm feeling her boobs again pressed on my chest... Her heartbeat so fast... Like mine... Her lips so hard on mine, her tongue so warm, so wet, so freaking good... My hand under her dress is moving again... up... and up... I want to feel-... _What was that?! _Oh, the car stopped. Oh SHIT! We're in a car! _What happened?!_ If I have the same dishelved appearance and red swollen lips as she has right now, _everyone_ will know what we just did. Damn! How embarrassing! She's still breathing fast but so am I... She looks good that way though... Damn! No!

"Ehm..."

"Mmmm... You're alright Amy?"

"Yeah..."

"I think we have to get ourselves together now. We can't get out looking like that. What will people think?"

"You're right."

We both try to calm down... Seriously, what just happened?... What was I doing a minute ago? What was my _hand _planning to do under her dress?... Don't, please _don't _think about that now... I need to get _rid_ of my erection...

"I'm sorry, Amy. I think, I might have crossed a line."

"Ehm... It's okay. It was just the 'heat of the moment'... Which I started. So, no need to apologize."

"Ok. Thank you."

She takes out a small mirror of her purse and starts to refresh her make up while I straighten my tie and my jacket... After a few more moments we're presentable again and we get out of the car.

"Oh Sheldon. What are we doing here in Long Beach? Are we having a romantic walk at the beach? That's wonderful!"

"No, that's _lame_. _We_ are going to enjoy the sunset while we're having a Gondola Ride around the canals of Naples Island and Alamitos Bay."

"Really?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"It's on water."

"So?"

"You don't like water."

"That was the old me. The new me is open for everything. Besides, I can swim."

"No, you can't."

"I can."

"No, you can't. You know the moves, but you never tried it in practice."

"If I know the moves, I know how to swim. So don't worry."

"I'm not worried. I'm a pretty good swimmer and if needed, I'm perfectly able to safe you from drowning."

I knew that. And to be honest that's the only reason why I am willing to risk my wellbeing on the ocean. But what a man would I be if I'd say that out loud?

"But of course you knew that."

I knew that she knows. Still, there's a difference to saying that out loud.

"Amy, aren't you even a little happy about this? Don't you find that a great idea?"

"I'm thrilled! Of course. In fact, I think it's the best idea you ever had!"

"Well, except when I asked you to be my girlfriend. _That_ was the best idea I ever had."

"Yes, that's true."

We're on the gondola now and I have to say it is really beautiful. The sky is deep colored in all shades of orange and red. I have my arm around Amy and she's snuggling against me. It's perfect. I almost have forgotten that I'm on water.

"Sheldon. This is perfect. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. I'm happy that you like it."

"I do... I didn't expect this."

"I know."

"But I don't want you to do things just because you think you have to. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"Why are you worried about that?"

"Because we're on water and you are a little tense."

"Oh. Well, yes. But I'm enjoying this anyway... Honestly, I do."

"Ok. Good."

"I hope though, that this evening proves that I am indeed the boyfriend I promised you I'd be when I returned. I won't change back. Things will never be the same as they were before. You know, you can trust me."

"I do trust you. I'm sorry that I made you feel that I wouldn't. But to be honest, I'm still a little... well, overwhelmed by the 'new you'. Sometimes I fear that I would wake up and it was all a dream."

That's sad. What have I done all these years that she's so afraid that I might just be a "monster" in disguise? That any second now I'll snap and bite her?

"I am sorry."

"You don't have to apologize again."

"But I want you to know, that I never intended to hurt you. I was just me being ignorant and stupid. Most of the time I really just didn't think about the impact of my actions."

"I know that. And it's ok. We're here now and all is good."

"Indeed."

* * *

The drive back to her place was not _that_ eventful. We're at her door now saying our goodbyes. I'm tired and so is she.

"Thank you again, Sheldon, for the most romantic anniversary I could've imagined."

"You're welcome. But we're not done yet."

"No?"

"No, I haven't given you your gift yet."

"Oh! Another gift? You shouldn't have!"

Even she doesn't believe that...

"If you don't want it, I can save it for another day."

"No, no. Give it to me."

See...

"Here."

"What's that?"

"Turn it around."

"Oh 'Cooper Coupons'..."

"Yes."

"But... They're empty?"

"Yes. You can fill in whatever you want."

She looks at me surprised. She didn't expect this. Good... Well, I thought, since I'm basically throwing jewelry and flowers at her on a daily basis, I have to come up with something she would've never guessed and that would fit in my jacket...

"So... I write in _whatever_ I want to do and you would do it with me then?"

"Yes."

"Anything?"

"Yes."

She's delighted!... I did good...

"Thank you. That's great, really. Uhhh, if I think about all the wonderful things I _always_ wanted to do with you..."

Ehm... Maybe I didn't think this through...

"Well, I'm glad you like it. I should go though, the driver is waiting."

"Ok. Good night Sheldon."

"Good night Amy."

I'm in the limousine again. That went really well. I skipped the good night kiss though. I didn't think I could've left if... What happened in the car, right here, just two and a half hours ago? Oh boy. That felt amazing! So _now_ I get why everyone is fussing so much about french kissing... What was my hand under her dress doing though?... Oh, just thinking about that makes my heart beating faster... What happened to my composure? I have to work on that. I really do... Tomorrow... Or some time... I'm tired... So tired... Finally home again... Just a quick shower and off to bed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author 's Note: **Thank you for reading and the reviews, follows and favs :-)

I hope you'll like this chapter. Poor Shelly has a lot on his mind in this... Please let me know what you think. Thank you!

* * *

**CHAPTER 8**

That "moment" in the limousine two weeks ago unfortunately had some unwanted effects... I'm obsessed with it... I can't stop thinking about it. What happened there? How could I've lost it so? My hand _under_ her dress?! How did that happen? Why didn't I stop myself? If the car wouldn't have halted that second, _what_ would I've done? Why didn't Amy stop me? Would she have at some point? Or would she... What was I'm going to do _exactly_? I feel funny in my stomach thinking about it... Imagining it... Oh God, what happened to me?!

We have seen each other only once since then at her work place for lunch... Safe environment... I made up a lame excuse to cancel our latest date night. I do feel bad about that... But I'm really having _serious_ problems here! I know I want to move things forward but can't that happen more controlled?!... Oh no, here we go again with the need for "control"... I thought I'm over that?... But here's the thing: I'm not controlling _anything_! I can't. I'm simply unable to... Every time I see her, all I think about is that I want to kiss her and to touch her... I can't even listen to what she's saying properly! At some point she will figure that out and she won't be pleased. I promised that I would show interest in her, in the things she likes, in her work, but what do I do? I _stare_ at her breasts imagining how they would look bare! _What_ _is wrong with me?!_

I dream about her almost every night... I get up almost every night for a "shower"... It's really embarrassing. I am so glad that I live alone. Just the thought of having to explain to Leonard why I suddenly shower in the middle of the night is humiliating. The_ whole _situation is humiliating. It's like all of my sexual needs that I've suppressed for years are taking over now. I am a slave to my baser urges and there's just _nothing_ I can do to make it go away. It's like I'm hungry all the time and nothing I eat can satisfy my appetite. I cannot believe that I'm that weak. Does it have to _control_ my whole existence? Does it have to invade _every single _aspect of my life? I'm no Homo Novus, I'm just regular Joe... How disappointing... I always belittled the guys of their fixation on everything remotely sex related. I _despised_ their desperate attempts to get female attention. What did I know? I should've felt sympathy for them. But instead I mocked them and if they'd know about my suffering now... Oh no, they can _never_ find out. I have to prevent that from happening. I have to call Amy.

"Hello Amy."

"Hi Sheldon. What's up?"

"You can't tell the girls about our... activities."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you talk about the men in your lives in embarrassing detail. I do not want to be the subject of that examination."

"Where is that coming from now? You were never worried about that before."

"Did you already tell them?"

No, she hasn't. Otherwise everyone would know and my life would be hell...

"No. We're still busy with Penny's wedding plans. Leonard and Rajesh said she has to at least pick out her wedding dress and the bridesmaid dresses."

"Good. So will you refrain from spilling out all the exciting facts about our sex life?"

Why is she giggling now?

"Amy?"

"Yes I will. Can I ask why?"

"You know how it is. Once you tell one person something, even in private, the next thing you know is, that _all_ of them know. And let's face it. Penny is the _worst_. She'll probably text Leonard _while_ you're still talking."

"It's not because you're ashamed of what we're doing?"

"No, of course not. I just don't want us to be the subject of their jokes. And I also don't want to have to answer all the inappropriate questions that surely would follow."

"Ok. I understand that. I promise I won't say anything... As much as I would want to, though. Finally I have something to tell!"

"Amy... Please..."

"Alright. Don't worry. I won't."

"Good. Thank you... Sooo... Do you want to come over later? We could make it a spontaneous Date Night. I'm still sorry that I couldn't make it the last time."

"No need to be sorry... Even though I wish you would've just told me the truth that you needed time to deal with that _moment_ in the limousine instead of coming up with that _lame_ excuse."

She knows me too well... Why I thought that I could get away with it in the first place, I don't know. As if anyone would ever believe that I would prefer wedding cake testing with Leonard and Raj to... basically anything. That was really stupid. But again, I'm not quite myself lately... Maybe making out with Amy is making me stupid? Can that be?! Oh, what a disturbing idea! Maybe I need a MRT of my brain again? I should call and make an appointment... Maybe seeing Amy should wait until I have clearance...

"Sheldon? You're still there?"

Oh, yes. What did she say before?... Ah, the lie.

"Ehm... Sorry. I know I shouldn't have done that. Are you very disappointed?"

"No. Just don't do that again."

"I won't, I promise... So do you want to meet later?"

I just can't stop myself... My mouth is operating on its own... What's going on?

"Yes. I'll be there at seven, ok?"

"Ok. See you then."

"Bye."

* * *

She'll be here in half an hour. I should start with the preparations now. She suggested a while ago, that it would be nicer to have a more romantic setting. Dimmed lights and even music. At first I thought "What's the point?", but then I actually liked it. One evening we were at her place and she had lightened up candles all around the room. Naturally I was worried about the dangers of open fire but then I realized how _mesmerizing_ she looked in that lighting. So I'm ignoring every instinct of self preservation and start to lighten up the candles I've bought earlier today after I left the office and after I decided to risk losing more of my precious superior brain cells...

After the phone call I spent hours researching and apparently there is no study regarding the connection between sexual activities and losing IQ points. So, I can't be sure. Next week I'll have my brain scanned and then I'll send the scans to Beverly for examination... She had intercourse though... Otherwise Leonard and his siblings wouldn't exist... She's still smart... Was she smarter before? I should ask her... Anyway. I know there's no way I'll be able to hold myself back when Amy is here, so I figured that I'm going to make the best of it. If I'm indeed degrading I better enjoy the way down... Hopefully the _long_ way down...

However, so I went into that store for women, where you get candles in all colors and shapes and scents and all these utensils for ridiculous foaming baths and _everything_ flowery. They really are a complete different species. I felt like an alien in there... I'm getting excited now... A swarm of butterflies in my belly... She'll be here any moment...

"Hi Amy. Please come in."

"Hello Sheldon... Oh, that is _nice_."

She stands in the room and admires my efforts while I admire her. She's wearing a jeans skirt and a blue blouse and a blue cardigan. I like blue. No tights... good. On one date she wore them... that was dissatisfying... I already want to grab her... The way down to stupidity won't end well for me...

"Are these scented candles?!"

"Yes, some of them... vanilla."

"It's really beautiful. Thank you for doing that for me."

"No problem. And I like it as well. Do you want something to drink?"

"Yes, water please. It's warm in here."

I get the water and sit next to her on the couch. We usually start with a little chitchat about our respective days but I just can't stop looking at her in that light... Her hair looks shiny... Her lips look...

"So, Sheldon. How was your-"

Oh... They _feel_ as soft as they look... Hmmm... My hands are on her cheeks. My fingertips fondling the place on her neck right below her ears. I love her skin... _velvety_... I hear her moan quietly. That gets me going all the time... I kiss her harder... I suck a little on her lower lip... I _yearn_ for her and it makes my hands grab her tighter around her nape... Oohh God... Her tongue is slowly licking my lips... Too slow... A hard shiver goes through my body when the tips of our tongues touch for the first time... Her hands are on my arms. Her fingers clutching them... I don't mind... Our tongues stopped being slow... So good!... She's moaning... Or am I? I don't know. I don't care... My whole body's tingling now... The butterflies got lose... What am I doing? My hands are leaving her neck and grab her around her waist. I push her up and position her on my lap again... Yes, this is _perfect_... We keep playing with each others tongues and lips and I could _die_ right here... My hands are safe on her knees grasping them tight but not moving... Where are _her _hands? I don't feel them touching me. That's comforting... Is it?... I can't breathe. I need air. I open my eyes and it's like I see her for the first time. She looks down at me with the darkest eyes I've ever seen. She's panting heavily, but so am I, and my heart pounds so fast it's alarming. It surely will give up completely soon... I feel my erection throbbing... I should calm down... She moves... No, don't please. What's she doing? She raises her hand and I can't help but to hold my breath. _What will she do?!... _Oh, she just takes her glasses off...It's ok, I can breath again... _OH GOD NO! _She's leaning back trying to put her glasses on the table, grabbing my knee for balance. But that's _not_ what gets my attention. The way she leans back like _that_... Aching her upper body like _that_... It brings back vivid images of my dreams... In them she also sits on my lap... But she's naked and I touch her... _I touch her everywhere_... And she's so aroused she moves on my lap exactly like she does right now... In them she's moaning and whispering my name... I can't take it anymore. _I should just do that. _But I still can't... _What is wrong with me?._.. I lean back. I need more space between us. I have to close my eyes because I just can't look at her anymore...

"Sheldon?"

Her voice is low and sounds worried... I hate it... I feel like shit...

"Sheldon, please _talk_ to me."

She's starting to move, trying to get off me. I don't want that.

"Don't go away. Please."

My voice is whiny... I hate that too... I don't know how long we're in this position. I can't open my eyes... I can't look at her... I'm so discouraged with myself.

"It's ok, you know. When it gets too much we stop. We shouldn't feel uncomfortable at _any_ moment."

Her being so damn understanding makes me... _angry?... _I look at her and the way she just sits there on my legs, her hands folded on her stomach, calm with nothing but affection in her eyes... It's_ exasperating! .._. It's not supposed be like that... I don't recognize my own voice when I start to speak... It's deeper and full of the depression I feel right now.

"In my dreams everything is different... _I am different. _I am not the weak failure of a man that freaks out from germs and too much touching... In my dreams I know _exactly_ what to do to please you... To make you feel... _electrified_ by my touch... In them _you_ touch _me_ and I'm crazy about it..."

While I let it all out I see her face changing. Her eyes grow wider and her mouth opens a little. Is she shocked? I don't care. I need her to know that I am a man with desires and that I know how to satisfy my woman.

"I think about you _all_ the time... I think about the things I want to do to you... And the things I want you to do to me..."

She's gasping now and her pupils dilate again... She likes this! Who knew?! I can't help but smile a little... and to tighten my grip on her legs again...

_"What do you want me to do?"_

She has that enticing voice again... _Oh my_, I'm starting to feel excited just from the thought of the chance to make them real... The many things I have her do in my dreams... Ohhh God... _Don't hyperventilate now... Start small..._

"Get that cardigan off... Please."

She hesitates a moment but then she slowly begins to unbutton it... I watch her every move... I can't help but thinking about how her wonderful hands would feel on me... Now she slowly starts to take the clothing off... She's watching my reaction... My hands on her legs begin caressing her amazing smooth skin again... Oh God, she's _stripping!_... For real!... On my lap!... I don't believe what's happening here... This is sooo _thrilling_!

"Take off the blouse now."

Again with the slow unbuttoning... Too many buttons... My breathing is becoming shallow once more... The excitement of what will be revealed in just a few moments... It's already almost too much to bear... My hands on her legs move relentlessly now... She seems to enjoy herself though... There's a little smile around her mouth... Sexy actually... _Almost there... _I feel my erection awakening again and I clutch the flesh of her upper thighs... She would say if I hurt her, wouldn't she?... She's finally done with the damn buttons and starts to push the blouse over her shoulder...

"Ohhh boy..."

But wait, what's that?... ANOTHER shirt?!... I hear myself groan in frustration and she... chuckles? _Is she serious?!_

"You find that funny?"

"Nooo."

"Why that annoying giggling then?"

She's still giggling and continues to take off the blouse and throws it away. She lays her hands back on her stomach... Still not touching me...

"You're _not_ done yet."

She seems... uncertain... Why? Isn't it clear where I want to go with this? What I want to look at?

"Get that shirt off...I want to see you."

"Ohhh..."

Everything she does tonight she's doing too slowly... But she does grab the hem of her shirt and starts to pull it up... Oh, her belly is beautiful... The skin shines in the candlelight... I stop breathing... My eyes are still on that adorable part of her body when I realize that she's about to take off the shirt completely... The way her upper body is stretching when she raises her arms brings me straight back to my dreams. But now we're _much_ closer in making them real... Oh Lord! Here they are!... Hidden behind that cute but unnecessary white bra... I breathe in sharply... They're _perfect_... The way they move when her chest rises and falls... fast... I can feel her gaze on me... I look up and I am overwhelmed by... _everything_... My whole body is trembling and I feel like I'm going to explode from all these emotions... I try to breathe. I need more air. But I _can't_ stop looking at her... I want to touch her so badly... I feel my hands on her legs go up... She gasps... Good... The skirt moved way up but is thankfully still protecting her private... _No, don't think about that!_... I look at my hands laying still above her skirt and I stretch my fingers so that the tips touch the skin of her belly... It sends tingling sensations all through me and I can feel her shivering too... I'm moving my hands on her... Slowly... Carefully... Trailing lines on her belly... around her navel... I want to touch her breasts... But I don't dare to... yet... So I continue to explore everything around them... She moans and her breathing stops when I reach her sides... She tenses up a bit and I look up at her to see if she doesn't like it... But she does. She _definitely_ does. She has her eyes closed now and her mouth is open letting in and out small breaths and small sounds... Whimpers... I move my hands around to her lower back... More lines and circles on her spectacular body... Her shoulderblades... Her neck... I follow her spine with both my hands... _What-?!... Oh! Amazing! _Her_ whole_ body is reacting to that... Her legs tense and hold me stronger between them... Her hands grab my knees tight behind her and she throws her head back and...

"Ohhh..."

I'm not sure, but I think that was me... Her neck looks... delicious... Her breasts ready for me to...

"Oooohhhh!"

That wasn't me... What is she-? OH! Her hands... My neck... _Jesus!..._ Her lips... Her tongue... _OH MY GOD!... I'm lost..._


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the reviews.

This chapter is short and basically just the epilogue from the previous one. I thought you might want to know what happened after Sheldon got "lost" ;-)

I'm aware that Sheldon gets more and more OOC but otherwise things wouldn't happen the way they do in this story. I hope you don't mind that much.

I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

Hmmm... I'm feeling funny... Different... But good!... So good... No, better than good... What is the word that would describe it best?... Euphoric?... Yes, that's it... I should stand up now and get ready for work but I really don't want to. I just want to keep laying in my bed and relive last nights events... Maybe I should call in sick. With these images, _real_ images, in my head now, it will be IMPOSSIBLE to concentrate on anything anyway... Ah, _how_ demeaning... Abandoning work... No, my _calling_ as a scientist, just because I had an evening full of... passion... That brain scan can't come soon enough... Oh, what the hell! It's not like I'm going to solve string theory today... Or ever if that scan proves my stupidity theory... And I couldn't care less... That should worry me though... But it doesn't, so no need to bother with that. I have a call to make.

"Good morning. This is Dr. Cooper. I am calling to notify you that I will not come to work today. I am sick."

Blablabla... Formal pleasantries... Blablabla...

"Thank you. Goodbye."

So that's done... Where was I? Oh yes, _last night_. Just thinking about it awakens something in me... Butterflies again... My Amy... How could I ignore how beautiful she is for that long?... How could I ignore that body of hers for so long?... Hmmm... I love my memory. Nothing can escape it... And here's little Dr. Cooper getting up as well. Just by thinking about her. About yesterday... The second she grabbed my head and crashed her lips on mine I knew I lost the little control I might have had left... Screw control anyway!... In no time our tongues were doing God knows what in our mouths and my hands stopped being careful and went all over her exposed skin. Her arms, her throat, her back. Her silky and warm skin made me... _greedy_... I wanted... No, I _needed_ to feel her closer to me, so I just grasped her around the waist and dragged her to me ... Oh, the sensation when she... When our groins... I need a shower!

Ahhh, the warm water is perfect... Going back to the part of our bodies grinding at each other. Before, I was sure I would freak out when she realizes just HOW excited I am. But I didn't. It just felt so incredibly good, that all I could think was how I wished there weren't any clothes between us... Her skirt moved up around her waist and I could feel her through her panties... Oh God, her body was so _hot_ and I can _still_ feel her trembling under my hands. Like every nerve in her body was responding to my touch... I remembered the sight of her delicious neck and I began to kiss her frenetically. I explored _every_ inch of her throat down to her collarbones. The taste of her skin on my tongue was... _intoxicating_... Her hands on my nape playing with my hair... Then moving down my spine sliding _under_ my shirts and fondling the skin of my lower back... _Ohhh... _I'm starting to shiver again... Good thing I'm under water. Taking care of business without leaving a mess behind... My hands caressed her back but got distracted by her bra. So I did the only logical thing. My genius mind found the latch of that damn thing within seconds and then... Ohhhh, they look even _more_ perfect than I imagined... I enjoyed the scenery for a few moments before I _finally_ took them in my hands... _Amazing!_... I heard her moan and she buried her face in my neck... whispering my name into my ear... She started to kiss me right there... Nibbling on my earlobes... Licking a little with the tip of her tongue... _Just a little more_... _I'm almost there..._ I began playing with her boobs... These tantalizing full and perfectly shaped and soft and simply _heavenly_... _Jesus! Almost there... _I gently stroked her hard nipples with my thumbs and _that_ set her _afire_!... The way she moved on me, her hands wandering relentlessly over me until they found my neck again, pulling me in for another kiss... So deep, so hot, so _raging_... I stopped being gentle... I kept working on her breasts and nipples and when I squeezed them,_ I_ pushed her over the edge... Her body tensed up and her grip tightened around me and then she... _bit_ me... _FUCK! YESSS!_

* * *

So, now I'm hungry! What shall I have for breakfast on this lovely day? French toast? Eggs? Cereals? Hmm... I need to go to the supermarket. No milk. Drat.

* * *

Ooohhh, there's a Star Trek Deep Space 9 marathon on cable. Perfect! Season 4, even better. I love the episodes with the 'Dominion'. So much action!

* * *

He? What's that ringing noise? I must have fallen asleep. Who's calling this early? What time is it anyway? Oh, it's her. How wonderful.

"Hello Amy."

"Hi Sheldon. I heard you're sick. What's wrong?"

Oh, she's worried. Of course she is, she doesn't know that I just ditched work so that I can reminisce our activities in all their vivid glory... Also, there are still bite marks on my neck I don't want to explain...

"Nothing really. No need to worry. I'm ok."

"Then why aren't you working?"

Should I tell her? If I don't, is it lying? I don't want to lie to her... again... But if I do tell her, how will she react? Will she be pleased or disapprove? Do I want to find out? It's also pretty embarrassing...

"I felt a little strange this morning. That's all. But now I am better."

"You didn't feel _'strange'_ yesterday when I left."

Oh, when she left... I almost didn't let her go... After she came and bit me I was in a state of... I don't know... sexual delirium or something... She wanted to go to the bathroom and I wanted to take care of _my_ situation and I seriously needed her for that... She did go though... Sadly... And I took another long shower...

"Sheldon? What's going on?"

She sounds suspicious... Not good...

"Nothing. I didn't feel strange yesterday, but you know these things can come over night."

"Do you... regret what happened?"

"NO! Why would you even think that?"

"Why? Because things _did_ get a little out of hand yesterday and today you're calling in sick. Do you need time again to deal with it? You promised you wouldn't lie to me."

"Amy, please. I don't regret what happened, quite the opposite actually. I know I freaked out a little after the limousine incident but now I'm totally ok with it. I'm fine. Really. There's no need whatsoever to let this distract you from work. How is it going by the way? Are you still excited about this new project?"

"Are you purposely changing the subject?"

"I am interested in your work. Why would you doubt that?"

She's quiet... Will she let it go already?

"No Sheldon. I'm not buying it. Why do I still have the feeling you're not telling me the truth?"

Because I'm not... Not really at least... Am I a bad boyfriend? Do all boyfriends tell their girlfriends when they lock themselves into their apartments to jerk off?! That can't be. I don't believe that. I most certainly won't... But I should say something...

"_I_ don't know why you feel that way."

"Is there really nothing you want to tell me?"

"No. I'm good. There's a Star Trek marathon I'm watching."

"Ah, ok then. Have fun with that."

"Thank you. I will. Have a nice day as well."

"Thanks. Bye Sheldon."

"Goodbye Amy."

I handled that well... No lying... real lying... and no humiliation either... I'm becoming more and more an expert in all things relationshippy... Back to DS9...


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the reviews. Especially to Darcyfitz1 for reminding me about Sheldon's daily 20 minutes in the basement. I completely forgot about that! :)

I started this story because stupidly I kind of depressed myself with the other one I'm working on and I just thought I'll write something lighter about how Sheldon will finally get laid. And I think and hope that it's pretty obvious by now that he will eventually. But nevertheless, I also don't want to just jump there without exploring the dynamics of their relationship at all. So my point is, nothing spicy will happen here... I hope you're not too much disappointed and you'll like this chapter anyway.

* * *

**CHAPTER 10**

Unfortunately the guys figured out by themselves that something is going on even without the help of Amy blabbing about us when she's with Penny and Bernadette. I don't know how they could've figured it out. They say it's obvious that I'm getting some "action" because I'm "disturbingly" pleasant. I don't see the connection though. I've _always_ been pleasant, so the only thing that's apparently changed is, that they're finally able to appreciate my enjoyable personality. About time I think... Anyhow, they just won't stop bugging me and now I am at lunch trying to ignore their interrogation attempts. They keep asking about Amy and how things are between us... It's like they can sense it... The opportunity to make me suffer... But I'm smarter, I won't let them. I should just leave, but then they'd misinterpret it as a confirmation that they're right and I can't risk that they know what's going on.

_What's going on _is that Amy and I are finally getting somewhere. That night a few weeks ago, when things "got a little out of hand", as she put it, was like an _awakening_. But I can't tell them that. They wouldn't understand how revolutionary it is for me to willingly exchange kisses _with_ _tongues_ with my girlfriend. How it makes me feel _beyond_ ecstatic to finally be able to touch her _and_ to be touched by her.

They don't have brains that are _always_ working on high speed, so to speak, and they don't know how exhausting it can be to channel all the thoughts that invade my mind. Like right now, I'm thinking about my brain but also about dinner (Chinese or Indian?), the paper I have to finish for next week (What's the topic and shouldn't I care?), the new 'Hulk' comic (YAY!), the color of Raj's sweater (An insult for the eye), germs on my plate (PANIC!)... It goes on and on. Living alone actually helps. If I had known this sooner I would've kicked Leonard out years ago... Oh, now I _feel_ bad for thinking that... And that's the other thing. Besides the never ending train of thoughts I have to deal with all sorts of emotions. Mine, theirs, everybody's! And not to mention confusing human interactions. Why can't people just say what they really mean? But no, they have to speak in riddles and make strange faces that no one can decipher! The 20 minutes in the basement I usually need to recover from only half a day amongst people is as efficient as a tiny band aid for a huge scratch that just won't heal. And I don't even want to start with the whole general touching business that I still find _extremely_ unpleasant. All the time one has to shake hands and to touch things that others, _strangers_, have touched countless times before. Urgh! It's despicable! Germs _everywhere_!... So my _point_ with all this is, that they could _never_ understand that for _me_, being able to admit that I love Amy _and_ to actually physically act on it is simply _phenomenal!_

Although if I'm honest, I still find it somewhat troublesome that the never ending train of all kind of thoughts seems to be _very_ limited when it comes to Amy... My pretty Amy, my lovely Amy, my sexy Amy... Again! I just can't help it... Luckily the brain scan showed no signs of degradation. Also Beverly assured me that it's not possible to lose IQ points just because one is in love and has a physical relationship. Even though she said that the notion itself is dumb... Still, how come that when I'm thinking about Amy or when I'm with her everything else in my mind just vanishes?... Maybe it _is _the love thing?... Or our amorous activities?... Probably... How could I possibly think of anything else when I have her on my lap pressed against me like that?!

Anyway, back to my problem at hand. The guys and their determination to humiliate me. There's just no way I'll let them know all the wonderful things Amy and I are doing with each other... Oh no, don't think about that _now..._

"Are you alright, Sheldon?"

"Yes, of course. Why do you ask?"

"Because you look strange... Flushed?"

"Don't be silly, Leonard. Why would I look like that? It's just a little warm in here."

"So, what's going on between you and Amy?"

"As I've said _many_ times before: Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yes. _Nothing_."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Wouldn't I know if_ 'something' _is going on?"

"Well, I _hope_ so."

"This conversation is the definition of meaningless. Don't you have other things to concentrate on?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Your wedding? Since that's obviously the _only_ dream that will ever come true for you."

"And why's that?"

"Leonard. For years I keep telling you, that your insistence on the 'importance' of your work is delusional. I know your limitations but even you must see that a career change at this point is inevitable. Especially now that you have to provide for Penny for the rest of your life."

"You're an ass, Sheldon."

"Why? Because you don't like the truth?"

"It's not true!"

"What? You're dead end career or providing for Penny? Because both is very much true. You're at the same professional level here for years and you're paying for Penny since the first day you met."

"And how's _your_ career going? Any closer to prove string theory? Any message from the Nobel committee lately?"

I hate him right now... I don't know what to say... At least they stopped asking about Amy.

"Ok, Sheldon. If you don't want to talk about Amy, just say so. No need to get insulting."

"There's NOTHING to talk about!"

"If you say so..."

"You're boring me. I'm going now."

"Ok. But just that you know: The apartment door isn't sound proof. _We can hear you_."

I must look at him as shocked as I feel, because he's grinning maliciously and all of them start laughing... I need to get back to my office as fast as I can... _Oh, how shameful_...

"OUT OF MY WAY!"

People again... Everywhere... I'm disappointed with the superior alien species that just won't come and free me and Amy from them... Good, my office... finally safe. I better lock the door behind me... I have to call Amy immediately!

"Amy! They can hear us."

"What do you mean?"

"They can HEAR us!"

"I DON'T understand!"

"The apartment door is NOT sound proof!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"Amy! When we're... making out, they can _hear_ us through the apartment door! Isn't that HORRIBLE?!"

"It's not preferable but I don't find it _that_ bad."

"You don't?!"

"No. I mean, what's the big deal? You heard them before and our... sounds cannot possibly be as... _revealing_ as theirs."

"Yeah that's true... But I still don't like it."

"Don't you like that they can hear us or that they know what we're doing?"

Both. But I shouldn't say that. She'll probably misunderstand...

"The hearing part is upsetting me mostly. I don't know if I can... _concentrate_ if I know that they might stand outside the door listening."

"I don't know if they would do that. They probably just heard us when they came home or left their apartment."

"Amy, _really?_ Did you _just_ meet these people? They have NO sense for appropriate boundaries! Of course they would listen on purpose. I can't accept this."

"And how will you prevent this?"

By relocating our make out sessions to my bedroom...

"Can't we just meet at your place?"

"Of course, if it makes you more comfortable."

"Yes it would. Thank you... And Amy?"

"Yes?"

"Can you drive me home from work today? I don't want to drive with Leonard. He was really mean to me."

"Oh, that's not nice. Sure, I'll pick you up."

"Can we make a quick stop at the drugstore?"

"Of course."

"And at the supermarket?"

"Sure."

"And at the comic book store?"

"Hmm... Ok. Anywhere else?"

"RadioShack. Something seems to be wrong with the drive of my notebook... As if I wouldn't have to suffer enough today!"

"That's it?"

"Yes... No! I need to return a dvd. We have to stop at the video store as well."

"Do you have the dvd with you?"

"Ehm... No. But we could stop at my place first. It's basically on the way to RadioShack."

"Ok. But you're buying dinner for my chauffeur services."

"Now you want to get _paid_ for helping your boyfriend in need?"

"You're not in need, you're just lazy."

"Amy!"

"Am I getting dinner or not?"

"Yes, of course... If you insist. We can stop at the Cheesecake Factory."

"How 'generous' of you."

"Why? You want to be rewarded with an exclusive menu in a fancy restaurant now, just for driving me around? Don't you think that's a bit too much? The next thing I'll have to do when asking for a _little_ help is to charter a private jet to fly you to Paris or what?"

"Ohhh... What a nice idea. Paris... The city of love..."

"We're not going to Paris."

"In a few months is Valentine's Day..."

"We're NOT going to Paris!"

"OK! No need to get upset... It was your idea, not mine."

"Can we stop that now? Please?"

"Alright. See you later."

"Thank you. Bye."

* * *

We're in the car now and Amy is driving me back home. I love driving with Amy. She's a very good driver. Never too fast. No red lights blinking... Safe... I always feel safe with her... I think I'll have to buy a new notebook. But which one? I hate to make decisions like that. It always takes forever. I shouldn't waste my time with this. But it's important which notebook I'll choose. I'll start to make a list as soon I'm back home...

"Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"You know that I've been watching a lot of your movies and tv shows, right?"

Where is this going?

"Yeah?"

"And you know that I'm not really a fan of these, right?"

"Ehm... If you say so."

"And you also know that in comparison I've made you see far less of the things I like, right?"

This isn't good...

"Maybe."

"So I've been thinking that I would find it very nice if you would watch my favorite series with me."

Every episode of "Little House in the Prairie"? Does she want to kill me?!

"Every episode of "Little House in the Prairie"? Do you want to kill me?!"

UH OH! I shouldn't have said that! The look she throws at me is undoubtedly pissed... Here we have 'Disapproving Amy' again... Damn! And I've been doing so well lately.

"No, not that show. The 1995 BBC adaption of 'Pride and Prejudice'."

_"Are you serious?!"_

That didn't make it better... I'm in trouble...

"_Yes, I am._ You know I love the book and you even said yourself that it's perfect. The mini series is great too. You'll like it."

"Why watch it when I already now what's going to happen?"

"Are _you_ serious now?! You've seen Star Trek and Star Wars and whatnot _countless_ times and you have an eidetic memory! You don't even get surprised or shocked or whatever anew, like the rest of us."

"Still... Can we not just watch something else? I even watch some of your chick flicks with you."

"No. I want to see _that_ with you."

"Do I have to? I don't want to. Really, I don't."

I'm aware that the ice I'm currently walking on gets dangerously thinner and thinner...

"Ok. I didn't want to, but you left me no other choice. And I must say, Sheldon, I'm a little disappointed. I cash in one of the 'Cooper Coupons' for that. A whole day watching 'Pride and Prejudice'."

I don't know what to say... I can't get out of that now... I should've bought another necklace instead... Oh good, at last we're at my building... The way she looks at me is really unsettling... Her voice also...

"Sheldon. I find the look on your face like you're about to be send to prison very, _very_ irritating. I just want to share something with you that I love. So you'll be at my place this Saturday at lunch time. We can eat together and then we'll watch it. And you'll better show up in a good mood."

"Ok."

"Good. See you then."

"What? No goodbye kiss?"

"No. And if you're not changing your attitude on Saturday I don't know when you'll _ever_ get one again."

I got the message. Loud and clear.

* * *

Saturday. The day that will be officially _wasted_ with 'romance'... I feel bad though. I actually thought about ways to avoid going to Amy's but I couldn't find any excuse that she'd accept. Oh well, I just get it over then...

"Amy"

"Amy"

"Amy"

_Remember you're supposed to be in a good mood. Otherwise she'll never kiss you or let you touch her again! So smile! _True... I'm not annoyed. I'm not annoyed. I'm not annoyed... _NO KOALA FACE! _Right... So I have to put on a _genuine_ smile... How do I do that again? Drat. She's opening the door now... _Think about her boobs, idiot!_... Ohhh, yes!

"Hello Amy! Isn't it a lovely day?"

"Hello Sheldon. You're in a surprisingly enthusiastic mood."

"Why? I'm just looking forward to spend the whole day with my girlfriend."

"Did you drink coffee again? You know you shouldn't, you can't handle the caffeine."

"Amy! I'm here, in a good mood as you requested. Willing to watch 6 hours of 'Will they, won't they' and I already know the end of it. So, what's _your_ problem?"

"Nothing. Sorry. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, very. What do you have?"

"Spaghetti with hot dogs and strawberry Quick, the powder not the syrup."

That's uncalled-for! And she knows it... So what, I like the syrup better and yes, months ago, I yelled at her for that. But months ago I was not the man I am now... Why can't she let that go? No, she has to remind me of my previous failures... What is going on with her?

"Oh perfect! Thank you."

Sarcasm by the way...

* * *

We're watching the second episode... Things are better now between us at least... At first she was sitting on the other side of the couch... Still punishing me for... I don't really know... _Something_... But apparently the show made her soften up and we're cuddling now... Although, I find her reaction to Mr. Darcy a little bit unnerving... What's there to sigh all the time?

* * *

Oh good, we're halfway through... I have to admit it's not as tedious as I expected it to be... But I can't stop thinking that we could use all these hours on her couch much more worthwhile... Maybe I should just do something about that... Something like caressing her sides... Good start... She draws herself nearer to me... And now?... Oh, her shirt has moved up a bit around her waist... Good... I just fondle her skin there... Just a little bit...

"Sheldon? What are you doing?"

"Me? Nothing. Look there's Mr. Darcy again."

"Ohhh."

There's that sighing again... Annoying... But I keep my hand on her... Moving up a little under her shirt...

"Sheldon!"

"What?"

"Stop that. Don't you want to see what will happen next?"

NO! And I think I made that perfectly clear!

"It's just so... romantic, it makes me feel _romantic_ as well."

I just smile... Good, she smiles back... Maybe I'm getting that kiss I've been waiting for days now?... Hmmm, she's responding... My hand moves up a little higher on her belly and up until ... Oh, here they are... How can I get rid of her bra?... _What now?! _She breaks the kiss and puts my hand out of her shirt... Oohhh nooo... And snuggles herself against me again... Alright, apparently that's really all I'm getting here...

* * *

"Sheldon!"

"He? What happened?"

"You fell asleep."

"Sorry... Did I miss much?"

Please say yes!

"No. I paused and went to the bakery to get cake. Do you want some?"

"You left me here alone?! What if I would've woken up and you wouldn't have been here!? I would've thought you might have been kidnapped!"

"I left you a note. See here."

"Oh."

"So do you want cake?"

"Yes, please. Yummy!"

* * *

Alright, it's done! It wasn't bad, I give her that. Actually quite enjoyable... Sort of... But she seriously has to work on her composure when it comes to that what's his name.

"So what do you think?"

"It was... good. No, really. I can see why you love it that much."

"Oh good! I knew you'll like it."

"And I did... So, what do you want to do now?"

"I know what _you_ want to do."

I can't help but smile...

"Yeah?"

She smiles back... Good...

"Yeah... But you're not getting any."

"What? Why?"

"I'm just not in the mood."

That's no reason... How come that I'm _always_ in the mood?

"I can get you in the mood."

"No, stop that. Really."

"Alright, alright... Is something going on?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. I'm just not in the mood."

"Ok."

Something _is _going on, I know it... She's in a strange spirit... even on the other day when she just had to drive me around a little... and she was so tetchy for no reason earlier today... Wait... Oh, I know. It's _this_ time of the month. How could I have forgotten that? That's a risky time for me. She's much more sentimental and sensitive and I'm much more likely to tick her off... I should get the hell out of here!

"I should leave you then, so you can get some rest and some quality alone time."

"I don't want to be alone and I'm not tired."

Drat! I know I'm going to mess up somehow. But so often I just don't see it coming. One minute all is good and then I say something and the next thing I know is that she's angry. For whatever crazy reason. One obviously needs an extra x chromosome for understanding. I told her that once. I made a mental note that it was the wrong thing to say... I need to go... Really, I do...

"Sheldon? Do you want to go?"

Yes!... But I could never say that when she's looking at me like that... Puppy face... Howard's right. It is indeed always working... For her... Not for me unfortunately...

"No, of course not. So, what would you like to do now?"

"Can we watch some TV and cuddle?"

"Sure."

We're making ourselves comfortable again... our arms around each other... tightly... And now she's looking up at me and smiles happily... She's so cute... I can't help but to smile back...No, I was wrong. I don't want to go. This is perfect...


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the reviews. :)

As I don't want to repeat myself I will just stop by, so to speak, when something "newsworthy" is happening or about to happen. So here we already have December 27th and it's time for some chit chatting about "pet names" and stuff... :) It's basically just a build up to what's to come next.

I hope you'll like this chapter.

* * *

**CHAPTER 11**

"I declare the annual relationship summit open. The reason for this early meeting is the boyfriend's request to update the Relationship Agreement before the year ends. I'm sorry that you haven't received a copy of the agenda in time, but your request was pretty short noticed. I just finished it before you arrived."

"That's alright."

I figured that the agreement needs some serious updating in the "Physical Intimacy" section. I may live without a strict schedule now, but I'm not willing to lead a life in constant violation of my own rules. So I thought we just put everything in the paragraph... _including_ coitus... The funny thing is, that even though we usually speak about everything, sometimes in unnecessary detail, we hardly ever speak about our "activities" anymore. They just happen... I have some questions though... Well, not really questions. More like _suggestions_... I also have some New Year's resolutions, which is why we have our annual relationship summit now. Even tough it was my turn to prepare the agenda, she insisted to take care of it.

"Main topic is reviewing the status of the relationship after the boyfriend's unannounced and unapproved leave of absence last summer."

I hate when she says it like that. But it's true. Not only that my behavior towards her that day was disputable, additionally it was a breach of our agreement. It clearly states that in cases of travels, the leaving party has to notify the other three days prior. Obviously I didn't do that.

"Were the revisions made to the Relationship Agreement, effective from August 26th 2014, fully executed? _Specifically_, did the boyfriend fulfill his duties to the girlfriend's contentment?"

"I did."

"That's not for you to judge."

"Oh... Of course not."

I'm really nervous now. Altough there's no reason, things are good between us... Very good, in fact... She's all business right now. Usually I love that about her.

"Let's see... We had Date Nights every week, except for the one time, when you lied to me."

That's not good for a start.

"Amy, I know that lying was wrong, but I was a little overwhelmed by the whole limo incident. You said, you'd understand."

"I do. It's ok and you didn't do it again... Regular kissing? Check. Hand holding? Check. Cuddling? Check. What's next?... Regular declarations of love?... Hmmm..."

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I lo-"

"Ok, ok!"

"Wait. I forgot to say it on... 11 dates... So, I love you, I love you, I-"

"Stop, Sheldon. I know you do and I don't mind that you forgot to say it. I even think that we can eliminate that from the agreement. You shouldn't be forced to tell me. Just do it whenever you want to."

"Ok. Thanks... But Amy, I _need_ to complete that now."

"Sorry. Of course. Go ahead then."

"How often was that? 6 times, 5 to go: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

"Thank you, Sheldon."

She's always beaming with joy whenever I say it... I really should tell her more often... But _"Thank you"?!_ Why doesn't she say that she loves me too? She _never_ did! But she does, right? Should I ask her?... No, I know she does. I mean, I hopped on the freaking train when the reality of it hit me! No wonder she's not saying it...

"You also didn't make fun of my work, so that's good. You're actually pretty supportive."

"I am... And don't forget the special date for our anniversary."

"No, of course not. I didn't have to remind you and I appreciate the effort you put in planning it. That really was a wonderful evening."

I still feel very pleased with myself... But I raised the bar high for every future anniversary... I haven't thought about that before...

"I also noticed that you hold yourself back this Christmas. I know you hate it but you tried not to ruin the spirit at the party. Everyone had fun."

"It helped that you got me hooked on that eggnog of yours... How much liqueur did you put in there?"

"Ehm... I might have misread the recipe. But it tasted delicious anyway. You said so too."

"I could be _dead_ now. Do you even care?!"

"Of course I care. And you're _not_ dead... But I _am_ sorry. I really should have stopped you sooner when you ran on the roof to prove the world that you're Batman."

"I could have jumped!"

"But you didn't."

"Not thanks to you... It took all three of the guys to get me down."

"Yeah... You were pretty determined."

"YOU LAUGHED!"

"Not _at_ you... _With_ you... You were just so cute with that blanket... Oh, sorry. I mean _cape_."

"_Please_. At least we know now that alcohol is indeed dangerous. I'm _never_ going to drink again. And _you_ shouldn't either."

"I'm really sorry, Sheldon. In retrospect I might have misjudged the situation... Speaking of, I have to say, you became quite the expert in apologizing. In fact, I think we should amend the agreement in regards to that as well. It's not fair to make you take all the responsibility when we fight. So why don't we delete that part completely?"

"Really? But how do I know then when I have to apologize?"

"You'll know."

True. I have problems reading other people's faces and moods, but I know my Amy. Not to mention that she usually makes it pretty clear when she's not pleased with me... Also, she's not without faults either. So it would be nice for a change to have _her_ apologizing to _me_. And I don't mean the occasional "I'm sorry". I want the whole redemption program as well... Minus jewelry, chick flicks and boring plays that is.

"Yes, you're right. So that means, that when you mess up, I get the whole deal?"

"Ehm... Since it's not part of the agreement anymore there are no rules how to apologize. So-"

"No, no, no. I want it to be stipulated in the agreement that the responsible party has to make up _properly_ for any wrongdoings. That includes _you_ having to prepare something nice for _me_."

"If you insist. I can buy you flowers and take you to a fancy restaurant."

"I do insist and you very well know that I don't want flowers and all the stuff you like. You have to make sure that we do what _I_ like."

"Ok. _If_ I ever mess up, I will... You haven't found a pet name for me though. That's an open issue for almost a year now."

"I still have to do that? But I don't want to call you differently. I always think of you as my _Amy_."

"You think of me as _your_ Amy?"

"Yes of course. Why are you suprised? It _is_ your name."

I don't know what, but I did something good. She's smiling bright at me and she leans forward... ooohhh... she's kissing me... Nice!... But we have to continue... Or do we?...

"Amy..."

"Mmm..."

"We haven't finished..."

I'm stupid. Who cares if we go through all the topics?... But things really do need to be completed...

"You're right... So, all in all I'd say, you did very good these last months."

"That means, the trial period is over?"

"There wasn't a trial period, Sheldon."

Sometimes I think she thinks I'm really dumb.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You don't believe me?"

"No. I'm sure you kept a journal or something with everything in it about my boyfriend 'performance'... With charts... and you probably graded me as well."

"Ehm... Not really graded... Ok. The trial period is over. Officially."

I feel immensely relieved!

"Good. I'm happy. So what's next?"

"New Year's Eve."

"Ah, of course. Well, I suppose we're going to Raj and Emily's party?"

"It's a 'soirée', but of course we're going. Don't forget to wear a suit. He insisted."

"I don't know why he always wants us to dress up and this 'French'-theme he chose... What the hell? Why can't we just go-."

"He just wants us to look like the sophisticated group that we are. I think it's nice. I went shopping with the girls and I can promise you, that you'll like what I picked out."

"Sophisticated?!"

"Yes."

"It's tedious."

"No. It's not."

"It is."

"No, it's really not."

"It really is."

"Sheldon! We're going and that's it."

"OK!"

"Good... Sooo... Now, do you want to revise the clause about physical contact, formerly known as the "hand holding" paragraph?"

"Oh, yes! Let's do that."

Who knew that I would ever _happily_ talk about sex with my girlfriend? It makes me chuckle...

"What's funny, Sheldon?"

"It's just that if you compare us to where we were a year ago. It's like we're two different couples."

"Yeah, kind of. But at the same time you're still you and I'm still me."

"But better... Well, I'm better. You have been perfect all along."

"What a _charming_ man you are."

I am... Also, I have to make sure she's in a good mood for what's to come next... I've been thinking for weeks about ways how to bring the whole topic up and I figured I have to be at my best behavior. So I made a list with things not to say and to do (I learned a lot while observing the guys for years... Not that I knew at the time that their missteps would be quite helpful for me someday)... But what now? Where to start? Amy seems a little unsure as well when she speaks.

"Are you happy with the status of our physical relationship?"

"Of course I am. Why would you ask?"

"Well, we never really talk about it lately. I mean, I don't know what you're thinking."

"What do _you_ think?"

"Ehm... I like it... Obviously."

Just imagining the way she looks almost naked on my lap... No! Not _now!_ We have important things to talk about first.

"I like it too... Obviously."

"What do you like?"

"What do you mean? All of it."

"But is there something you like especially?"

Hmmm... her boobs... Is it allowed to say that?

"Ehm... Well... I'm quite fond of your..."

"Breasts."

"Yes."

She's smiling at me now... I can't help it, but my gaze goes down to my favorite parts of her... I love them, I really do...

"I know that and I like it a lot when you touch them... Nevertheless, I would appreciate, if you could look in my face now."

Whoops... _Embarrassing_...

"Sorry."

She giggles though, so I'm good...

"It's ok... I kind of like when you look at me like that. It makes me feel desirable and attractive."

"Did you ever doubt that I find you attractive?"

"Yes. Up until you came back you never showed any sign of attraction, let alone desire. Except for the short moment when I wore the schoolgirl uniform. I thought I got a reaction from you then."

_Ohohohh my!_ I haven't thought about that for a while...

"I do think that you are very beautiful... And about that outfit... Please feel free to wear that again anytime you like."

"Hoo!"

"Or any other uniform..."

"Really?!"

"Why? That can't be surprising, can it? Uniforms represent order, rules, control. You know what to expect."

"But the point of dressing up is to act _differently_ as what the uniform stands for."

"I know that... I think... Still, if you want to, I'm not going to complain."

"Noted. What else do you like?"

"Hmmm... I have a thing for your knees. They're sexy."

Alas, she giggles again... This talking about sex stuff goes really well so far.

"Thank you. Do you like anything I do?"

"I like everything you do."

"But is there something you like best?"

"Well... I like it a lot when you kiss me on my neck right below my ear... You know... _here_... And when you touch me at my back under my shirts. It sends tingling waves through me."

"Ohhh. I feel that as well when you touch me."

I like this conversation more and more.

"But..."

"But what?"

"But what I love the most is when you reach climax just by my touching you."

"HOOO!"

Ok, that's it... Let's stop talking now... All this chatting about touching, kissing, boobies and orgasms... I draw nearer to her and start to caress her cheeks with my hands... Her lips look so tasty... now I'm going to kiss her like she's never-

"Sheldon?"

"Yeah?"

"I have the feeling that we haven't talked about everything. You wanted to alter the agreement and we haven't done that yet."

"We can do that later..."

"No. Let's do it now. Because..."

"Because?"

"Well, lately I have the feeling that you're not really satisfied."

"Oh... Why would you think that?"

I know why. Because the last times I was pretty desperate to get her to stay with me. I didn't say it, but obviously she realized it anyway.

"Do I disappoint you?"

"What?! No! Why?"

"Because I always leave when things get _serious_."

"No, I'm not disappointed. Of course not... But... ehm... You know..."

Just say it. Isn't that the whole point of this conversation?

"I admit that sometimes I've been thinking about... you know... how it would be, if you would... ehm... assist me with... taking care of... my... ehm... situation... down there."

Jesus! That took me 5 minutes to get out! But seriously, how does one ask one's girlfriend for a handjob?!... The truth is though, that I'm thinking about that _constantly_! We haven't gotten much further than that other night... Our very private parts are _still_ untouched... Not to mention the other things I want to do and haven't had the guts to do yet... Like _kissing_ her breasts... And while I occasionally made her come (Yay me!), I'm _always_ left halfway there when she leaves... And I suspect heavily that the orgasm would feel _much_ better if she would help me with it... Showering alone got kind of boring...

"I know... But I admit that I'm nervous about this."

"Why?"

"Because I never did something like that."

"It's really easy. You just-"

"I know what to do! In theory at least... That's not what I meant though."

"Oh. What then?"

"Well, I mean moving forward in general. Like getting naked entirely. I'm assuming that we would, right? And even though I admit that I've been thinking about the same thing, I don't really know how I feel about it... Strangely though, I don't feel nervous that much about touching your penis, but the thought of you touching my vagina... I don't know how to explain it. It is exciting but also frightening at the same time. Not to mention that I haven't even touched you properly yet, because you still keep your shirts on, while I'm basically sitting on your lap completely exposed!"

Her lady parts are something else I've been thinking about a lot and if the moment in the limo proved anything, then that I am indeed ready to go there... And I'm really curious, I have to say... What does it feel like? Wet, if I'm any good... and I am obviously..., but what else? Warm? Or-

"Sheldon?! Do you listen?"

Uh? Drat! What did she say? Something about my shirts! Oh yes. I haven't noticed that... Interesting... Probably because my focus lies elsewhere...

"Why didn't you just say something? I could've taken them off."

"Really? Just like that that?"

"Yes, sure."

"Sure?"

"Amy. I know what you're thinking but isn't it obvious by now that I'm perfectly fine with being touched?"

"Perfectly?"

"Would you please stop questioning everything I say?"

"I can feel you getting tense _every_ time I touch your chest _above_ the shirts."

True. But it's just first instinct taking over.

"Ok. Maybe. But you must have also realized that it's only for a second or so."

"Yes. But still, this is why I haven't said or done anything about it. I didn't want to pressure you."

"I understand and I appreciate your thoughtfulness. But it's really ok. I will get them off from now on. I got used to you touching my back and I definitely will get used to you touching my chest and _everywhere_... I mean, I just told you that I want you to touch my genitals!"

"Yes you did."

She's chuckling again... Cute...

"But Sheldon?"

"Yes?"

"I know it was me bugging you forever to have intercourse, but as I've said, I'm _really_ not there yet."

I suspected that much... Am I there yet?... I don't know... But I most certainly will be within the next year... That's on the top of my resolutions list... Right after getting back on track to the Nobel Prize... I'm pretty much over the whole "sex is degrading" attitude but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't know how to set my priorities... I _am_ a man of science after all...

"Amy. We only started to work on my issues four months ago and we came a long way since then. Don't you think? I never thought it possible that I would feel so confident with this level of intimacy. So, it's absolutely ok to wait. Besides, I'm also not sure if I'm ready... Why haven't you said something sooner. Didn't you say that neither of us should feel uncomfortable?"

"I know. But it's pretty easy to talk about these things in theory but when it's actually happening it's something different altogether."

"Yes. Maybe."

My Amy... All these years she's been talking and talking about kissing and making out and me having my way with her in motels, but she's really just as inexperienced and insecure as I am... Oh, just look at her... Sitting there fumbling with the sleeve of her cardigan... How can anybody not find her the cutest thing alive?... Hmmm... Just because we won't have sex soon, does that mean that the other things are off the table as well? I know there's still _plenty_ we could do... At least according to the book I got from Penny and Leonard... _Fascinating_ things...

"So does that mean we keep things as they are now or can we try out something new? If you don't feel comfortable, then I don't want to of course."

"No no, I'm not uncomfortable. Talking about it helped. I'm still just a little nervous, I guess."

"Me too."

I am but also _extremely_ excited by the thought of it... She smiles and I can see that she's much more relaxed now than she was a few moments ago... I'm fine with keeping things the way they are for now... Let's continue exploring the things we do and I'll use my scintillatingly witty mind to master _everything_ that gets her turned on... Although, we should be prepared for all eventualities... Legally I mean...

"About the agreement though... I've been wondering, if we could put it in there?"

"You already want to put coitus in the agreement?"

"I want to put _everything_ in the agreement."

"Everything?!"

"Yes."

"Well, we can do that, I suppose."

"Good."

"Do we just write something general, like that there are no limitations in regards to physical contact, or do you want to be more specific?"

Hmmm... Naturally I would prefer everything defined as specific as it possibly could be... That was the plan at least... But when I think about it now, I suspect that in the end I won't do me a favor... When it comes to that area I'm constantly surprising myself... So better to stay vague... Oh, what a smart man I am... Even outwitting myself...

"Let's keep it general."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the reviews. I appreciate your feedback very much! :)

This chapter is maybe confusing at times, because Sheldon's thoughts are jumping from one thing to the other even more than usual. But there's a reason, as you'll see. I hope though that you'll still enjoy it. Poor Shelly has _one hell_ of a start into the new year! ;)

* * *

**CHAPTER 12**

Oh, I feel horrible!... I have to go to the bathroom. Fast!... Oh God. Why can't I open my eyes?... I'm not ok. I'm really _not_ ok... Something's wrong with my legs too. I can't move them... In fact, I can't move _at all!... Oh, please no. _I don't want to die! I want to live! I haven't gotten the Nobel Prize yet. It's _not_ my time!... What's wrong with my ears? I can't hear properly! Strange sounds around me!... _Don't panic!... _I'm _really_ going to throw up now... Alright, one leg down, one to go... _Stand up. Slowly, very slowly.._. Ugh, my legs feel like jelly... Oh! I can see some light through my lids. It hurts though. It _so_ hurts!... _Bathroom. Now!_

"OUCH!"

Jesus! My foot! Freaking edge of the damn bed!... _Open your eyes now!_... ARGH! The sunlight is _killing_ me! I have to close them again... Am I a vampire? That cannot be, can it?... What exactly happened yesterday?... What's _that_ sound now?... Lord! I'm hearing things... That can't be good... _Bathroom! Careful, there's the door. Move slow. Really slow. Hold yourself up to the wall and take one step after the other... Good... Don't miss the toilet!_

Water! Cold water! Oh yes, that helps! I'm alive... Or something... My stomach feels slightly better now. I hate throwing up. It's so disgusting!... YUCK! _I_ smell disgusting... This is a nightmare!... _Don't cry... _A shower. Yes, that's what I need!... Why am I wearing only my underwear and not my pajamas?... Oh boy! I look like a zombie. My eyes are so red, my hair stands in all directions, my face is stubbly (what time is it?!) and there are strange marks on my neck and shoulder... What happened to me? Was I attacked?... By whom... or by what?... My underpants are strangely sticky. Why?... Good thing I'm living alone. Under no circumstances would I want Leonard to see me like this.

"Sheldon?"

"AAAHHH!"

"Sheldon! It's me!"

"My heart! Oh my heart! Do you want to kill me?!"

"Sorry."

"Amy! Turn around! I'm naked!"

"Oh... Of course. Sorry."

Why she thinks it'd be appropriate to giggle in a situation like this is beyond me.

"It's _not_ funny. What are you doing here?"

"Don't you remember last night?"

"Ehm... No, not really."

"Oh... _Too bad._"

"Why? What happened?"

"What's the last thing you know?"

"We were at Raj's stupid 'soirée' and..."

"And?"

"And nothing... _What happened?"_

"Why don't you shower and get dressed and I'll do the same and afterwards I'll fill in the blanks?"

"Okay..."

"And Sheldon? Happy New Year."

"Yeah, yeah..."

Why do I have the unsettling feeling that I messed up BIG and she's enjoying it a lot? DAMN! This year started horrible! With the _worst_ hangover _ever_ and I probably have to buy her crown jewelry _and_ have to fly her to Paris after all!... Didn't I just declare a few days ago that I'll _never_ drink again?... What is wrong with me? This is simply unacceptable! I'm ashamed and disappointed with myself... _Oh yes! _The water is wonderful!... Ok now. I have to figure out what happened yesterday. My mind does _not _forget anything. It's all in there. _Concentration!_

Amy picked me up and I did like her new sexy red dress _very_ much, just like she promised. Since I care about these things they grab all of my attention pretty easily. She really looked phenomenal and I was hoping that we could go to Raj _after_ some private fun time but she didn't want to. She said something about her make up and hair and that whatever she did with it took hours and that it's also not polite to show up late... Why does she even care about that?... So when we arrived I wasn't in a good mood... My first mistake, I guess... I couldn't have cared less about the french theme of the night... French food, french wine, french music, french everything... "Sophisticated"... Pah!... I made sure that Raj didn't serve frogs and slimy slugs... _Anyway_... Unfortunately she got annoyed after a while and ignored me more or less. Having fun _without_ me. That made me even more pissed off and at some point I didn't refuse the wine Raj offered to cheer me up... Clearly the second mistake... But I started to feel better instantly and I tried to smoothen things with Amy. She said that all would be alright and that we should enjoy the nice evening with our friends. And I did... Too much apparently. I _definitely_ should've said "no" when Howard showed up with a bottle of original french "la fée verte". But I didn't. It tasted funny but strangely good... It most certainly was my third mistake... and forth and fifth... What was I thinking?! Drinking Absinthe when I know for a fact that it was the cause for many great men to fall into deep frenzy from which they never came back?!... Unbelievable!... What happened then though?

Oh, I'm human again. Clean and fresh!... Although, I have to brush my teeth for at least one hour. This rotten taste is unbearable... Where did Amy sleep? And what did she wear? Was that one of my t-shirts?... _Where_ did Amy sleep?!... On the couch?... Yes, probably. Where else would she-. But wait... These strange sounds I heard earlier... _in_ my bedroom... That was her breathing and moving, wasn't it?... _Oh my freaking God! Amy slept in my bed! WITH ME!.._. How did that happen?... Did we just sleep together or did we _sleep_ together?! Why can't I remember? What is wrong with my brain?... No, I would remember _that_, wouldn't I?... Oh dear Lord! Please make that we didn't do it. _Please, please, please!... _I'm suddenly afraid to leave the bathroom. I cannot face her not knowing... Although, she seemed alright. So maybe it's not that... But would she be _not_ alright, if we did it?... Didn't we just talk about how we're both not ready for that?!... _Oh no! _How embarrassing! I know why my underwear felt so "sticky"!... But I can't remember when that happened... This is humiliating!_... What_ did we do?... No sex I'm sure, I wouldn't have messed up my briefs like that if we would have... I think... I hope... I want to die... Seriously, I do...

"Sheldon? Are you ok in there?"

"Yes."

"I need to use the bathroom."

"Just a moment."

"I don't have a moment! Get out!"

"OK!"

I can't look at her... _Look at the floor and just get into the bedroom fast!... _Ok, safe!... UGH! I have to open the window!... It reeks of alcohol and... What is that other smell?... That's unfamiliar... Sweat?... How sickening!... Something else is in there though... I don't know... The smell of human body fluids?... Ohhh, I'm feeling... _Don't faint now! Go to the window!... _Oh good! Fresh air... _Breath in and out... In and out... In and out... _Ok. That helped... I have to get dressed... _Oh boy... The bed... _The way the sheets are scrambled it looks like we were _busy_ in there... What did we do? Oh, _how_ I wish I would know... I can hear that she's showering now... Naked Amy in my shower... _Stop that! Figure out what the hell happened here!... _I need to change the sheets though, that's for sure...

My spot! At last!... I still feel kind of sick and my head hurts so bad and the light is _torturing_... I'm a weak man. That's what I am. I'm no better than the rest of them. Getting plastered and doing god knows what with my girlfriend and then blacking out... What an unpleasant realization that is... But back to yesterday evening. I drank too much obviously and then?... I tried to kiss her... In public?! In front of our friends?!... No I didn't, I remember. I tried to get her away from them. I said I have something to tell her in "_private"_. I opened the bedroom door and she followed me in there. Cute and clueless... _Wow! Using unfair methods just to grope her now?_... I'm weak. Really, I _so_ am... I closed the door and she asked what this is about and I just grabbed her and kissed her... Hard... My hands went down to her wonderful ass and I pulled her _so_ close, I was turned on within seconds... I was clearly not thinking straight already, because I led her forward to the bed... That kiss was incredible though... Oh my, just thinking about it... She's naked in my bathroom... I could just...

"Sheldon?"

"He? What?"

Oh dear! She's standing there in the hall only wrapped in a towel... I could just go over and take her... _NO!_...OK! Sorry!... Apparently I'm still somewhat inebriated...

"Do you have an extra toothbrush for me?"

"Yes, of course. It's under the sink."

"Ok, thanks."

"You're welcome."

And off she is again... Good... Sad... _Whatever_... So, Raj's bedroom... I kept kissing her and as surprised she was at first as fervent she responded after a few seconds... Her hands on my neck... Going down my back... She actually grabbed my ass too... That vixen!... When we reached the edge of the bed I was about to push her down, but then my brain obviously formed the last sane thought for the next hours: "Not the bed! God knows what Raj has been doing in there!". I stopped immediately and she took the opportunity to break the kiss and to get away from me. She said we shouldn't behave so inappropriately with all these people out there. What will they think?!... She had a point but I didn't care... I really didn't... However, we checked our appearances and went back to the living room... What then? Now things get _really_ blurry. Did I drink more?... Probably... Sixth, seventh and countless more mistakes I fear... I know she drank as well but not that much... _She_ has some composure left... But then, she _did_ end up naked in my bed... _Was_ she naked?... And I can't remember?! This is just cruel!

"Oh, I feel so much better now!"

There she is in that dress again... Sexy but the towel was better... _Seriously, have some respect for the woman you supposedly love!_

"Good."

"I wish though, that I wouldn't have to wear last nights clothes."

"You can wear something from me."

Or the towel...

"I don't think you have anything that fits."

"Well, yes that's true."

She sits down next to me in her spot... I don't know what to say... But I should say something...

"Amy, I don't remember everything but things start to come back and I want to apologize. Clearly my behavior was completely out of line and I fear I crossed some lines."

"Thank you. But there's no need for you to apologize. Everything that happened, happened because I wanted it too."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I'm relieved, I have to say."

"I could use a cup of tea. Should I make some?"

"Yes, please."

I'm really glad that she seems to be alright and not angry with me... I love seeing her in my kitchen... Like she belongs here...

"You know, I could give you my sweatpants and a t-shirt. That might fit."

"Oh. That would be nice."

Good, the disgusting smell is gone... The bed is made like nothing happened... That's a calming sight...

"I see you cleaned up, so to speak."

"Well... Here. Is that shirt ok? It's one of my favorites."

"I know. Thank you."

"I go and take care of the tea. Are you hungry?"

"No. Not really. My stomach is a little upset. I drank a few too much."

"Tell me about it..."

Chamomile tea is what we need... Hmm.. Interesting... As much hung over I am, I'm also feeling quite comfortable now with her here... I have to walk carefully with the two hot cups, my legs are still a little shaky... Good! Safe in my spot again... The warm tea is soothing... Never again will I drink alcohol! This time I mean it!

"So Sheldon. Should we talk about last night?"

She looks so cute in my clothes. I want to cuddle her!

"You look really cute. Makes me want to cuddle you."

"Oh!"

Giggling she sits down again on the couch and immediately puts her arm around my chest and snuggles against me, while I wrap my arms around her... Oh this is wonderful!... But still, I need to know.

"What happened after we left Raj's bedroom?"

"So you remember that."

"I do, but after that everything is pretty hazy."

"It was almost midnight then and we celebrated the new year. We stayed maybe for another hour before we took a cab here."

"Ehm... Not that I mind, but how come you're here and didn't go home?"

"Well... We had another one of those 'moments' in the cab, like we had in the limo."

"Oh!"

I made out with my girlfriend in a _public_ space. In a _cab_ full of germs from strangers of all places! This is just _not_ alright... Alcohol _is_ evil... It really makes one do things one would _never_ do otherwise!

"I see... What else happened?"

"We went upstairs and then we continued what we started in the car."

"That much I figured out by myself. Considering all the evidences. What did you do to my neck and my shoulder?"

"I gave you hickeys."

"Why do you sound so proud? They look stupid."

"I'm pleased because I marked you."

"As what?"

"As mine."

Obviously she's still under the influence as well. She doesn't make any sense. Mark me with hickeys?

"That doesn't make sense. You can't mark people. And you can't own people. At least not here in America... Not anymore."

"Now, at least for a little while, every other woman will know that you have a girlfriend."

"What other women?"

"Other women in general. Like these groupies you have sneaking around you just in hopes you might bless them with your attention."

"What groupies? You're talking nonsense, Amy."

"Please, Sheldon. Don't act so naive. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"I haven't paid attention to any of them in years. No free meals after I met you... Why my shoulder? No one is going to see that."

"It was my first try. I wanted it to be perfect on your neck."

"I see... What did we do exactly? Besides you 'marking' me?"

"We made out."

"Did we get naked?"

"Not completely."

Thank God!... I think...

"I'm glad that we didn't have sex like that. I have to admit I was afraid earlier that we did."

"I wasn't _that_ drunk."

"But was I? Did I try to do something you didn't want?"

"No, don't worry. You didn't."

"Oh good."

She's drawing herself closer and lays her head on my chest... I'm tired again... Closing my eyes is relaxing... Maybe a little nap?

"Sheldon?"

"Hmmm?"

"It was the most exciting night of my life."

I'm awake!

"It was?"

"Yes."

"Oh, how I wish I could remember. I'm so sorry that I can't."

"Maybe you will... And even if not... We can just do it again."

"We can?"

"Of course."

"Like... Now?"

"No. I'm tired. Actually I should go and pick up my car, get home and sleep for the next undetermined time."

"Oh. Ok."

She gets up and walks to the bedroom... Hmmm... The thought of her leaving is making me feel kind of sad...

"So, I have my things. And I called for a cab."

"Will you call me later?"

"Of course. Bye."

"Bye."

Just a quick goodbye kiss and then she's gone... What do I do now? Maybe I should eat something... Something light, I don't want to upset my stomach again... Throwing up once is enough for a day...

* * *

Yes, the toast and the tea helped. I do feel better... Let's watch some TV...

* * *

Amy's only gone for three hours and I already miss her... That's kind of new... Maybe I should ask her if she wants to see me tomorrow... We could do something... Maybe a movie? We haven't done that for a while... I know I thought about asking her to move in with me after I came back, but then I didn't think about it that much anymore. Why? I know that she would be a good roommate. Accepting all of my preferences regarding room temperature, lighting, bathroom schedules (yes, they're still in effect. I'm not a primate... On sober days...). So? Well, I do enjoy being alone. And I'm not sure if we... ok, if _I_ am ready for that kind of intimacy yet... She never mentioned it again after my last outburst in her apartment the day I went away... Ugh, I hate thinking about that... I always feel a stab of pain in my stomach... Guilt... What an unpleasant emotion that is... I'm really tired now... I need sleep... Oh good. I feel myself falling into slumber. Just a few seconds more and if I'm lucky, I'll dream of my lovely Amy...

Hmmm... Nice... Images of her in that red dress... That kiss in Raj's bedroom... Ohhh... Falling deeper... What's that? A memory or a dream?... I see us in the cab... Making out... _inappropriately_... She wants to give me a goodnight kiss, but I wouldn't let go of her... I'm asking her, no, I'm _begging_ her to come up with me... What a _nice_ dream that is... I see her now walking up the stairs in front of me... My arm reaching out and clasping her... Kissing her neck from behind... Turning her around and pressing her on the wall... My hands moving down her body and up again... My head buried in her nape... More kissing down her throat... Her cleavage... She's giggling and says that we better get up... More hazy images... Am I _really_ dreaming?... Amy in my living room... I'm unzipping her dress and it falls down to the floor... Colliding lips... Relentless tongues... We make our way through the hall to my bedroom... She's only in her underwear... Really? What about me?... My jacket is off and she's loosening the tie... Unbuttoning my shirt... My hand on her ass again and my cock's twitching when I feel her against me... So close, so soft, so hot... We're in the bedroom now... Oh my god! She's laying on my bed... Smiling at me, snickering... This dream must _never_ end... What do I do?... I stand in front of the bed and get my shirt off... She's watching me... I unbuckle my belt... Can't take my eyes off her... When I'm only in my underwear I crawl on top of her... _Ooohhh myyyy._ This _is_ a dream, right?... Her hands on my chest and my back and just everywhere... Feels wonderful... What do I do now?... Her breasts... exposed... How? Where did her bra go?... _Inanities..._ My lips graze her throat, going down her collarbones and down a little more and... Finally!... When I begin to kiss and to lick her breasts, she's moaning and aching her back, her fingers clutch the flesh of my shoulders... _Oh dear! Best dream ever!... _When I take her hard nipple into my mouth and caress it with my tongue, she's shouting out to God... Makes me smile... Seriously, _IS_ this a dream?... _Whatever, don't ruin it_... My erection's getting harder and harder... Like never before... Grinding into her... I'm getting closer... She's losing it too... Fast... I keep caressing her breasts... Sucking on one and my hand on the other and she's grasping my neck tightly... _Constantly_ moaning and whimpering... Jesus! I'm grinding harder and faster into her... I can't stop now... I make sounds I've never heard before when I come... It feels _amazing_... This is the _most_ vivid dream I ever had... Unless... Unless, I'm _not_ sleeping... And I'm not... My eyes are open and I'm in my living room... With my hand on my hard-on... Did all that happen last night?... FOR REAL?!... Oh my God, oh my God, _oh - my - God!_ I remember! Oh thank the Lord, I remember! And oh _indeed_, we _will_ repeat that! Often! And soon! In fact, right now. What time is it? Early enough... Just my jacket, the keys and I'm off to Amy for a surprise visit... Who needs sleep anyway!?


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and for the reviews! :)

This is a pretty long chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it!

Also, M-rated for a reason! ;)

* * *

**CHAPTER 13**

It's already the end of January and so far the year has been quite good. I'm not as bored at work anymore as I was the last months. I still want to change to inflationary cosmology and I figured I have to show the idiots that run the university that it would be the right move for me _and_ for them. So while I officially still work on string theory, I'm actually dedicating my time on a secret project. I want to present something so revolutionary in the field that they'll have no other choice than to allow me to switch. Actually, I find this working in the dark quite exciting. No one knows, except Amy of course. But she won't say anything. I trust her and besides, the non disclosure agreement she signed forbids her to tell anyway. Finally my brain has something to do!

However, today is Sunday and I'm getting ready for our paintball match. I'm really looking forward to that. Not only because it's been a while since our last match, but also because we're playing against the geology department and I _so_ want to kick their asses! I'm still ashamed that I somehow got seduced by that "science" last year when I woke up with this _hideous_ book... Alcohol... What bugs me the most is that I just can't get that saying out of my head... "In vino veritas"... In wine there is the truth... But what truth? That I secretly want to be a geologist?!... That's ridiculous! I _do not _want to crawl on my knees in the dirt to dig for stones!... Urgh! It's annoying!... Go away stupid thoughts!... How that book came into my apartment in the first place is still a mystery... Oh, here's Leonard. _At last._

"Hello Leonard."

"Hi. Are you ready?"

"Yes, of course. You're 2 minutes and 34 seconds late. So, hurry up! I'm in the mood to kill some silly stone enthusiasts!"

We're in his car and talk about our tactics to defeat them. I don't know why he just won't listen to my perfect plan to lure them into a trap. I've proven countless times that I'm the born leader.

"Sheldon. We meet the others there and then we _vote_ which approach we'll take."

"There's no democracy in war times."

"Actually there is... Well, depending on what side you're on."

"Well, there shouldn't be on _my_ side."

"Let's just get there, ok? Besides, I want to talk with you about something else."

"About what?"

"You and Amy."

"I'm not talking with you about her."

"I understand. But please listen."

"I'm not listening."

"I noticed that you spend a lot of time at her place."

"So what?! Are you disappointed that you can't eavesdrop anymore? Get a life, Leonard."

"Hey! I'm trying to apologize."

"Then apologize!"

"I'm sorry that we gave you such a hard time lately. I know that you don't feel comfortable talking about these things and we shouldn't have made fun of you."

"You didn't just make _'fun'_. Just _'fun'_ would've been fine. You basically _insulted_ me all the time. And even _worse_, Amy as well."

"I'm sorry. But it wasn't really me, mostly Howard and Raj."

"But you laughed. You _all_ did."

"I know. I'm truly sorry. I promise, we'll leave you alone from now on. I spoke with Howard and Raj about it too."

"Good."

After that day in the cafeteria things were unpleasant for a while but then they lost interest and stopped mocking me. Or at least not that much. Amy and I still meet at her place only, except for New Year's of course. I feel much more comfortable there. But then things got really bad after Amy "marked" me with these stupid hickeys. Even though I pretended to have a hoarse throat and wore a scarf, they found out. How much of my precious time I spent with blaming Penny since I've known her is preposterous. It's all her fault! If she wouldn't have walked in one morning to steal my milk when I came out of the shower, no one would've ever known about this. But she did and when she saw the one on my neck and then the other on my shoulder, she screamed and jumped around like a _real_ crazy person and not 10 minutes later I received the first messages and phone calls from the others. And they weren't nice ones! We had some nasty fights about that, especially when they didn't keep their filthy mouths shut even when Amy was there. They apologized to her but not to me, because apparently I'm an ass and deserve every cruel thing they say... Something about time for "payback"... Uh?!... Anyway, my lovely Amy defended me though. I still get a warm fuzzy feeling when I think about that one evening just a few days ago. We were all having dinner at my apartment and Howard made a comment so utterly below the waistline, I don't even want to repeat that in my head... He got hit by his wife (that's no lady to mess with!), but still everyone laughed. Then my Amy put her fork down, looked at them firmly and said very calmly:

"You can all laugh and make fun of Sheldon as much as you like. And even more so, I _encourage_ you to do so. It may help you to get over the simple fact that he is not only _smarter_, that he is not only _taller_, that he is not only more_ handsome_, but that I can guarantee that he is also much more _skilled_ in pleasing a woman than all of you. I can confirm that Sheldon knows _exactly_ what to do. _I_ didn't have to give him lessons about the female anatomy and show him where the _important_ spots are (With that she threw a knowing look at the guys... Ah, it was hilarious!). He's a genius in _all_ aspects. So go on, make fun of us but I can happily declare that the wait was all worth it."

They simply stared at us with their mouths open and I could've just picked her up and dragged her to my bedroom to have my way with her. But instead I just smiled as smug as I possibly could and continued eating. They mumbled apologies and I could see the guys looking questionably at their women, obviously wondering what they told Amy about their "performances".

"I'm also saying this, because I want you to know, that of course you can meet Amy at your place and we won't disturb you. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in your own home. I'm sorry that we made you feel that way."

"Ok."

"Sheldon, I'm really happy that things are going so well between the two of you."

"Thank you. They really are."

"Sooo... I figured from what Amy said the other evening, that you... did 'it'?"

We didn't. We're not even close to have our ways with each other. Although things slowly move in the right direction since New Year's Eve. We get more comfortable and she's not that nervous anymore and doesn't leave that soon as she used to... We're both still untouched _there_, but that's alright... Kind of... _Anyhow_, I can basically see and hear them all fussing about the big "news". Amy already told me that she got interrogated by Penny and Bernadette. She said she stayed strong and didn't say anything. It wasn't easy though, she admitted.

"Leonard. Amy and I promised to each other that we wouldn't speak of our intimate life with others. Please respect that."

"Of course... Oh good. We're here."

"Let's fight these pathetic dirt diggers!"

"Yes! The glorious victory will be ours!... Damn. Where is my inhaler?"

* * *

The defeat was shameful... Devastating... They didn't listen to my plan. So we lost... Badly... And the worse thing wasn't even the horrendous humiliation losing that fight... I know now how the tedious book came into my apartment and someone is in big trouble and it ain't me little lady...

"Hello, Dr. Fowler."

"Hello, Dr. Cooper. How was the game?"

"We lost."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I have a question for you."

"Yes?"

"Do you like geology very much?"

"What? No, _of course _not."

"Any special fondness for stones?"

"No. Where is this going, Sheldon?"

"So you don't have a stone collection in your lab?"

"Ehm..."

"Were you ever going to tell me, that you got one _every day _from your _good 'friend' _Bert while you were working at Caltech?"

"It's not like that, Sheldon. And you know it. He's just being friendly."

"So are the nice girls who offer me free meals. But accepting that is somehow not ok, or is it?"

"Ehm..."

"And on top of it all, _you_ left the geology book in my apartment last year! Why didn't you say anything back then? I _slept_ with a gift from one of your secret admirers!"

"Oh... yes... _that..._ Sorry... And I didn't tell you about Bert and the stones because it really didn't mean anything. I just took them and put them into a drawer and forgot about it, that's it. They're still in the box where I put them when I left Caltech. I don't even know where. I'm sorry, Sheldon. I _really_ am."

After the game was over, we were all standing together with the geologists talking about a date for a return game (which we _will_ win! We tried the democratic way, but no more of that humbug... ever!). During the discussion I heard my phone beep and when I said "Oh, a message from Dr. Fowler, how nice.", that _person_ asked me if that would be Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, the brilliant neurobiologist that worked at Caltech for a while. I said yes and then that moron told me all about his "close" friendship with my Amy. I was so angry! He saw that and apologized immediately. He said he didn't know that she has a boyfriend. That made me even more furious. Does she keep me a secret or what?! But Howard and Raj, who were standing by, said to him, that she did tell him about me but he didn't believe her, which he confirmed. Didn't help him though. Now I was pissed off because obviously he didn't think it's plausible that my beautiful Amy would have a boyfriend. I don't believe in violence, but at this moment I was ready to fight this mountain of a man. The guys stepped in and held me back before things went out of hand... Now I'm grateful for that. He's really HUGE!

"Don't be mad, please."

"I'm not mad. But I don't know if a lame 'I'm sorry' is sufficient enough for _that_. What would you think if I would've kept something like that from you? More importantly, what would you have me _do_ for making up for it?"

"Ehm..."

"So I expect something special. Something _extraordinaire_ even!"

"Ok. I messed up and you deserve a proper apology. I plan something adequate, I promise. Do you want to know in advance what it'll be? I know you don't like surprises."

"No, I don't want to know. I trust you wouldn't do anything I didn't like... So, any other _aficionados_ you want to tell me about?"

"No. Of course not."

"You sure?"

"Yes. _Really_."

"Good. Well, I need a shower now. But I mean it: _Knock me off my feet, Dr. Fowler."_

"Don't worry, Dr. Cooper. I _will_."

* * *

Saturday. The day of "Dr. Fowler's redemption". She'll be here any moment. No, in exactly 7 minutes at 12pm, because my Amy values punctuality as much as I do. I could burst with curiosity! What has she planned? So many possibilities! I can't even sit still... There she is!

"Hi Sheldon."

"Hello Amy! Oh, I'm so excited! Where will we go? What will we do? Tell me! Tell me now!"

"No. You said you want to be surprised and that's what you will be."

"_Ohh please. _Just a hint then?"

"Mmmm... You know I can't resist that cute puppy face of yours... But please be patient. You'll like it. I promise."

"Oh well..."

We're in the car and I'm trying to figure out where we're going... No clue so far... She takes odd turns though... Probably to confuse me... Successfully... She's parking now and I have no idea where we are.

"Where are we?"

"Come on. We have to walk a little. Not far though. It's around the corner. But the parking situation is bad there. I checked before."

That is a woman who knows how to plan properly!... Sooo, right round the corner is... Oh, a shop called "Sweet!". What's that?

"What is this?"

"It is a candy store, but not just some lame candy store. It's the _ultimate_ candy store."

"How so?"

"It's 28,000 square feet of dazzling "candy carnivality". Let's get in there and see for yourself."

OH! Candies everywhere! How _sweet_!... I'm chuckling by the intended pun!

"Look Sheldon. It has a dozen different theme rooms, including one Wonka Inventing room, you know, of 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'. You can also watch how hard candy is made and above all they also have a Chocolate Lab where you can design your own candy bar."

Oh, this is perfect! Everything smells so sugary and all these colors! I'm in candy heaven!

"Oh Amy! Thank you. This is wonderful!"

"Shall we go and take a look around?"

"Oh yes!"

* * *

Two hours later, with a belly full of all sorts of sweet things and a huge bag of self invented candy bars we're on our way to the next stop... I have to admit, I don't know how she wants to top that... Color me intrigued...

"Here we are."

Oh my! An arcade! A _nostalgic_ arcade! How cool is that?!

"I always wanted to go, but I never did."

"I know. I asked Leonard. I thought that since you love playing old games on your computer so much you might like playing them for real even more."

"I can't wait!"

"Here."

"What's in the bag?"

"Coins for you to play."

"Of course. Thanks."

It's brilliant in there. Simply great! What to play first?

"You know Sheldon. This arcade has one game that I learned is pretty rare to find. It's called 'Jr. Pac-Man'... You alright? Are you feeling sick? I told you to slow down with the candies!"

I'm not sick... I'm in awe... And I'm fighting the urge to do some inappropriate things to her here in public... Like on that "Space Invaders" machine... Here's the thing about "Jr. Pac-Man": I used to love that when I was young. I was obsessed with it actually. Most people weren't, because most people are stupid. It's basically the same as "Ms. Pac-Man", except that the mazes are wider, so it scrolls from side to side as you're playing, making the visual experience different. Most people couldn't get used to that. I could. Fast. I broke my own record basically daily... Got me beaten up a lot though. Didn't help that I was much younger than the average player and too small so I had to stand on a box... Whatever, enough of that...

"I'm ok. Where is it?"

"I don't know. And I probably wouldn't recognize it anyway."

There it is. Oh, how wonderful! Let's see if I'm still that good... Ah, who am I kidding? Of course I am! Let the entertainment begin!

* * *

"Sheldon?"

I think I heard something...

"Sheldon!"

Just ignore it... I'm so close now...

"SHELDON!"

Who dares disturbing me?! Oh, Amy... _Ehm_...

"Hey Amy. You're having fun?"

"Plenty."

She doesn't look like it though... But then, how can anyone _not_ have fun in here?

"Sheldon. You're playing the same game for three hours now."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'm happy that you're enjoying this so much but I have other things planned. We should go."

"Just one more game. I already broke the record here. I can break it again."

"Sheldon. Please. We have just one more stop to make and then we have a reservation in a restaurant in two hours. I promise you will like it too."

"Alright. I just finish this round and then we'll go, ok?"

"Ok."

* * *

We're in the car again and now we're on our way to the next surprise location. I don't know how she possibly can top that now...

"Here we are."

I know this place. It's a shop called "Whimsic Alley" and they originally were devoted exclusively to the Harry Potter franchise. But I've read that now they've expanded their scope.

"I always wanted to go. Especially since they included other franchises."

"Good. Shall we?"

"Yes."

Oh, they really have widened their offer. Here's a section dedicated to "Doctor Who". Bloody brilliant... Oh and there's "Game of Thrones"... And of course "Lord of the Rings"... But the "Harry Potter" section is the biggest one and really impressive... including a robe shop and a wand store... It's perfect! I'm going to shop that store empty!

"You like it?"

"Very much. Thank you."

She smiles and gets closer to me... Am I getting a kiss? In public!?... No she just doesn't want others to hear what she's saying... Her voice is low and somewhat different...

"You know. The reason why I brought you here is that I thought about something you said a while back."

"What did I say?"

"You said, that you would like me to dress up for you."

Oh my! Is this going where I think it is?... Can I handle it, if it is?... Sure, I can!... She gets up on her tiptoes and now whispers in my ear... I'm frozen... Unable to move... Can that even get better?

"And I thought, why don't you pick _anything_ you'd like to see me in and I wear it later when we get home?"

_Don't faint!... DON'T FAINT!... Be a man! This is an opportunity of a life time! Go, pick something _really_ good and apparate* home as soon as you can!... And say something, idiot!_

"Thank... you... I... ehm... I go and... see... what they have..."

"Do that. I don't know if they have any uniforms but maybe you'll find something else."

"I will... I'm sure."

"Good. Let me know when you're done so I can pay."

Best day ever! I so love my life!

* * *

I picked something good... I can't wait!... But first we have to go to the restaurant. I'm not really hungry now, but she is. Also, I don't want to appear too desperate... I can wait... No, I really can't... _Patience, Dr. Cooper... _

"Here we are. I'm so hungry now! Aren't you?"

"A little... What, Amy? A _french_ restaurant?"

"Yes."

"How did you... I mean, _why_ did-"

"_Please_, Sheldon. I didn't just meet you yesterday."

"I don't know what you mean. I think, I made made my dislike at Raj's 'soirée' perfectly clear."

"You did. Very much annoyingly so. And yet you ate half of the plates by yourself. And I also saw you looking at the CD covers... So, not only did you like the food, you also liked the music. And I thought you'll enjoy going to a french restaurant."

"Ehm... Just because I look at something doesn't mean that I like it. I have to look at hundreds of things each day that I most certainly don't like. And the food? What other choice did I have than to eat it or to starve?"

"Save it, Sheldon. I saw your face and you loved it. Why can't you just admit, that you've been wrong?"

"Simply because I'm never-"

"You want to go to the Cheesecake Factory instead?"

"Ehm... No. You made the reservation here and it would be unpolite not to show up... Don't roll your eyes, Amy. You know, I don't like that."

"I'm sorry. But just say, that you enjoy the french cuisine. It's nothing wrong with changing your mind about something."

"You really just met me yesterday..."

"Come on, let's get inside and eat."

"Ok."

* * *

We're on the way to my place now... The dinner was delicious... So what?! I admit, I was wrong. No big deal, _really_... Although, I couldn't stop thinking about what's to come next... I'm nervous now. I can't speak. I should, but I can't... She seems to be alright though... Good... I clutch the bag from that store like my life depends on it... It kinda does... This is too much to bear. I'm so excited!... She didn't even ask what I chose, she just held out her credit card (best girlfriend in the whole world! I wish I could show off when I'm with the guys, but that wouldn't be appropriate, would it?)... I hope she won't be shocked. It took me almost an hour to brave up enough to take it... Here we are now, walking up the stairs in silence... My keys? Where are they?!... _Don't panic! Stay calm!_... Ok, ok. I'm good. Here they are...

"Sheldon. Why don't you give me the bag and I change and you make yourself comfortable... A tea maybe?"

I don't want _tea_. I want _her_.

"No. I'm good... Yes, change and I wait for you in the bedroom?"

"Ok."

She smiles encouraging and goes into the bathroom... I take off my jacket and walk slowly to my room... Strange... The extreme nervousness I felt only a few moments ago somehow disappeared... I'm just feeling turned on just by the thought of her in that dress on my bed... And now I sit down on it and wait... What's taking so long?... This is going to be... I don't know... Definitely better than good... I hope... I hear the bathroom door opening... Oh! My heart makes a few unplanned jumps... I hear her steps coming closer... Oh my!... OH MY!... There she is... A brunette version of Daenerys Targaryen from "Games of Thrones"... She looks amazing... _Breathe!_

"You like it?"

"Yes."

Oh, my voice is... husky? I won't get sick now, will I? Who cares though? Not me!

"You look... astounding."

She smiles and she spins around a little so that I can get a better look of that sensational sight... I'm a smart man and so I chose the most revealing outfit they had... Her upper body is basically exposed, only hiding her breasts and there are just some longs stripes of fabric around her legs... It's ridiculous to call that a dress... But it's perfect for this special occasion... I just want to do all sorts of adult things with her... Now!

"Come here."

And she does... She's standing between my legs and I can feel her skin through my pants... I look up and her eyes are piercing green and there's that coquettish smile of hers that I love so much... I put my hands on her hips and my gaze goes down... Her belly's right in front of me... I start with little kisses... She's putting her hands on my shoulders and moans a little... My tongue's drawing lines around her navel... She tastes like apples... Delicious... My hands move around to her lower back and my fingertips mimik my tongue, drawing circles... Her breathing fastens... This is so wonderful!... But not enough... My hands grasp her tight so when l let myself fall on the bed, I take her down with me, push her up and flip her over on her back in one swift move... She lets out a surprised cry... I am _that_ good... I kneel by her side, looking at her laying in the middle of my bed in that spectacular thing... Her chest is moving fast... Her heart must beat as fast as mine... Her legs are bent a little... Waiting for me... I crawl in the middle of them... Oh my, I'm _so_ hard already!...

"Take off your shirts."

Oh dear lord! That seductive voice! I obey... And she smiles as her eyes wander all over me... I watch as my hands grab her knees and part her legs more... She inhales sharply... I move on top of her, placing my hands on either side of her head and for a moment I hold myself steady... Looking down at her _beneath me._.. I still can't get enough of that... I'm feeling her legs pressing at mine... Oh! She grabs my neck and pulls me down... Oh the sensation! We kiss even more passionately than _ever_ before... I didn't know that could've been possible... and her hands instantly start to touch me... She loves feeling me... I love it too... It's sends delightful shivers through my body... She breaks the kiss and her lips move down my throat now... She nibbles the thin skin over my collarbones... She moves further down and I have to push up a little to give her access... Her lips graze my chest... _Ooohhh... That's good!..._

_"Oh God!"_

I look down and see her tongue licking my nipples... I feel my body quiver... I grab the back of her head with one hand while I try to hold myself up with the other... I feel her fingernails digging at my sides... This is so mind-blowing it's maddening... My arm starts to shake... I have to let go of her head and she stops... _Noooo_... and lays down again... Her hands move to my back... up and down my spine... Ohhh... Electrifying waves... I _crave_ her taste... I'm pushing the straps aside, over her shoulders... Freeing her breasts from that unnecessary fabric... Oh so luscious to behold... How I love the feel of them... Her velvety soft skin... Her hard nipples... I rest on my elbows and rub my thumbs softly over them, watching them grow even harder... She moans softly... I'm crazy for that sound... I lean closer and I watch her face as I flick my tongue over them... She's arching her back, reaching out to place a hand on the back of my head... I feel her fingers sliding through my hair... I massage her breasts with my hands while my tongue is still caressing her nipples... I can't help but smile, when she curves upward with each bolt of pressure... I love doing that to her... And she's moaning and groaning and her hands are everywhere... _So good_... They grab my butt and push me down hard... _Fuck!._.. I can feel _her_ through her panties... How that always drives me wild... I grab her upper tights as I grind into her... This is what it must feel like... Oh dear lord! I'm _really_ losing it!... But not yet, so I get up, kneeling in front of her again... Hmmm... Her beautiful legs... Her exquisite knees... They're so smooth like the rest of her... I watch my hands going up and down on them... And up... Up... A little more... I see her black panties... The sight of her is _killing_ me... On my bed with that half ripped off dress... Panting... My hands on her breasts again... I want to feel them once more... Her legs are now wrapped around me pulling me even closer... Oh _careful_... That might _really_ finish me off... I roll over next to her... Better... My hands start to move down her body... She's getting hotter... _Oh that's so freaking good!... _I want... I _need_ to feel her... I kiss her greedily... My hand is now on her belly... My fingertips fumbling a little with the waistband... _Please, please, please!_... She hears me... She takes my hand and guides it down... An invitation to... _Heaven_... OH MY!... She's so wet... warm... no, _hot_... My hand is moving slowly... Enjoying the new feeling... She's losing it fast... I can feel it... Her hands are almost violently going up and down my back... Her whole body is tensing up... I find her... I slide in a little with my finger... I push in a little more... AMAZING!... Out again... In again... She's-

"Oh God! DON'T STOP!"

NEVER!... I pull and push faster and harder... Another finger... She lifts her hips with every one of my moves, making me go in deeper... Oh my! I feel nothing else but _her_... She's close... She's_ so _close... She starts to shiver!

_"Ohhh yes!"_

Outch! She scratched me?!... Not bad... Not bad at all... I'm so hard like never before... I know I can't bear it any longer... _Something_ needs to be done... I let go of her and look at her... She's still panting but getting calmer... _Please do something... _

_"Amy..."_

I sound pleading... But she smiles and starts to unbuckle my belt... Is this really going where I think it is?... _At last?... _She unzips my pants and starts to strip them off me... I have to change my position... Get her access... I lay flat on my back... She kisses me... Softly... Her tongue is now playful... Not as urgent... But I AM in urgent need to... Oh!... Her hands fondle with the waistband of my underwear now... She slips a finger or two in and caresses the skin underneath... I break the kiss... I need air... I need _more_ air... I can feel how she pulls my undies down... I hear her gasp... I want to see her reaction, but I can't open my eyes... She continues to draw little lines with her fingertips... She's going to kill me... My whole body is on alert... I hear myself groan... OHHH _sweet mother of..._ _Her_ hand... on _me_... Nothing else matters anymore except her touch... I cover my eyes with my hand... I can't take it... She's stroking me... carefully... _Too_ careful...

"_Harder_."

She tightens her grip ... OH YES!... I can feel the heat rising..._ I'm almost there..._

"_Faster_."

OH MY... I grab the blanket to hold on to _something_ while I loose _everything_... This is... so _unbelievably_... No words... My heart's hammering like _crazy_... I'm not surviving _this_...

_"Ohhh God!"_

I am the happiest man on this planet right now... I've never felt so perfectly at ease with _everything_ like I do in this moment... I still have my eyes closed and I still feel the aftermath shivers shooting through my body... Life should be like this _always_...

"Ehm... Sheldon?"

I open my eyes and smile at my perfect wonderful girlfriend... Who looks a little unsettled? Why?

"Amy? What's wrong?"

I hear panic in my voice.

"No, nothing. I just need a tissue or something."

Oh! How could I've forgotten that?

"Yes. Sorry. Of course."

Naturally, I have wipes in my nightstand. I'll give them to her and start to clean up myself. I look at her again.

"Are you really alright, Amy?"

"I am, very much so. And you?"

"I am as well."

We smile at each other and all is good... No. All is perfect!

* * *

**Author's Note: **I did some research and these places all exist in LA. And I have to say, that candy store sounds like a place worth a flight over the Atlantic ;)

*for those not familiar with Harry Potter: Apparition is a magical method of transportation and is basically teleportation.


End file.
